Today I was playing soccer with my sister. I really like playing soccer with my sister, and I like when she is on my team. We play well together because I recognise her still, quiet voice. "Back" she says, and I know I can pass the ball straight behind me and she will get it. I do not even have to look. "Time" she whispers later on, so I take the time to look around me. I know her voice, I trust her voice, I understand what she is saying and so I act according to what she has told me.
I wish I could say that my relationship with the Holy Spirit is like unto playing soccer with my sister. I wish I knew and understood the voice of my shepherd and trusted what he says. I wish it was that clear, but unfortunately it is not.
I think about my other friend with whom I pray soccer. His voice is not as clear to me. He will say "yep" or "here", but I have to look up to see where "here" is. Still, he is speaking to me, and I get a general sense of his position from his voice. My relationship with the Holy Spirit is not like that either. Honestly I am not hearing anything at all.
Another friend with whom I play soccer rarely says anything at all. Yet I have played with him long enough that I generally have a sense as to where he will be. If he passes me the ball, he will run up field and get in the open. I look for him there and then I can pass it back to him. This can be quite successful, especially for our basic play, but when I am trapped in the corner, I wish I knew where he was so I could pass him the ball. I cannot say my relationship with the Holy Spirit is like that either. Sure I have read his playbook, but I am never sure where he will be, and when I look around to where I think he could be, I never see him.
There are a few new players. I think about one guy who neither speaks much, nor do I know his moves. I am constantly looking around for him, or passing the ball to where I think he should be but he is not. We don't play well together, but as we work towards the same goal we are slowly learning. The Holy Spirit and I are not like that either. I feel no progression in our relationship, and I am not sure we are even aiming towards the same thing.
I have another friend who I texted today to invite to play soccer with us. He never responded to my text. I do not know if he is just too busy for me, changed his number, doesn't like soccer or is dead. I feel like my relationship with the Holy Spirit is a bit more like that. I feel like our relationship is only my half hearted attempts that I don't know if he is ignoring, not getting, or if he just doesn't care. Maybe the Holy Spirit only uses facebook.