Sunday, 12 February 2012

running on empty

I am feeling pretty drained, and that it all areas of my life.
Mentally, I have a midterm on Tuesday that I haven’t studies for at all, philosophy reading I have not done and I haven’t done my linguistics reading yet either. I doubt I will get any of that done tomorrow either... uhoh.
Physically, I am tired. I have had mini naps today and yesterday, and really wish I was sleeping right now. But I have also easily tired when I’ve tried to do anything physical recently. I went for a pathetic run on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, but never far nor fast. Even playing soccer today and yesterday was painful. Yesterday I mostly just played goal, but even standing seemed to take too much effort, and today I had to force myself to run.
Emotionally, I don’t know. I am not much one for emotions. My roommate made me laugh yesterday, that was good, but I don’t think I really laughed today. I feel pretty apathetic. Like about school, I don't really care that I am getting behind.
Relationally, seems to take more effort than I want to give. I mean it hasn't been too bad, though I did get really tired writing a letter today. It is that I am hoping for more relationally. I long for some text or email that will somehow fulfil this longing. They never do. I want something more, but it never comes.
Spiritually, things aren’t great. Not at all. I got a fortune cookie the other day, and rather than just writing off the fortune, I tried to understand how I should apply it to my life. I am spiritually thirsty for direction, and a little too eager to take it from anywhere.
That’s all. I am tired. I should go to bed. I think I post this because I long for some connection with people, and thus hope that you will comment, but really, your comments might make me smile, but it won’t last, and I still be thirsting for something more.