tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22727679980604514362024-03-13T09:07:46.392-06:00I got a secret...yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-62961316573105073062021-08-11T21:52:00.006-06:002021-08-11T22:10:32.103-06:00Cauldron<p><br /><br /></p><div><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Somewhere inside</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There’s a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Stewing, simmering, splatting. </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Hotter than hell on a cloudless day</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">But small </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">And tucked away. </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Deep inside</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There’s a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Fuelled by ignorance and lies</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Feeding on news and noiseless nonsense </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Yet hungry </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Bottomless pit</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Beyond the heart </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There’s a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Spawning soulless minions</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Who burn a path seeking to surface</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Held back</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Their energy grows</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Stuffed down</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There’s a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Growing hotter by the minute</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">And the minions, they are exploding </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Breaking down</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Walls that hold them </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Can’t you see?</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There’s a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Refusing platitudes and disguise</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Minions burst forth, shout out a war cry</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Standing up </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Proclaiming the cauldron </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Yes! </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There is a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Yes!</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">There is a cauldron </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Deep, deep within. </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The fire so hot,</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The fuel piled high. </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">It cannot contain what’s inside. </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The minions come warning</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The fire is roaring</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The cauldron’s bubbling boiling. </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Stand back</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Watch out</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">As the cauldron sputtering, splattering </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">SPLITS</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The content burns though the veins</span></p><p class="p2" dir="auto" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The vat never to be fixed.</span></p><p class="p2" dir="auto" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" dir="auto" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWTe3v-0XduOneN1kyYTBsl4zPxENXNayTeysIBNA3tZW0WHQiV8c9vpaxyEBZJxVtPdISVwmKBDGtATZRUiI_Sa3GZxTLRDNZAbCrgLf4IOQT8K3TDLro-l0thngkC2PPRNfBdplTMj8k/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWTe3v-0XduOneN1kyYTBsl4zPxENXNayTeysIBNA3tZW0WHQiV8c9vpaxyEBZJxVtPdISVwmKBDGtATZRUiI_Sa3GZxTLRDNZAbCrgLf4IOQT8K3TDLro-l0thngkC2PPRNfBdplTMj8k/w200-h150/IMG_3778.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><p></p></div>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-47267575966127965332021-06-16T11:45:00.003-06:002021-06-26T23:02:36.337-06:00Enough Information<p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Chapter 1</span></p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">In the book “Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More” published in 2008, Naish talks about televisions not SmartTVs, and mobile phones, not Smartphones. He talks about having 123 TV channels, which is nothing compares to the 37 million and counting YouTube channels in 2021,* and that’s not to mention TikTok. While the statistics and examples in <i>Enough are</i> dated, takeaways are easy to apply today. Our species has survived and thrived because of our desire to learn; however, with easy and endless access to information, we must choose which information to seek and when to say enough to information.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let us say I want to bake some brownies. I have the time, basic ingredients, I just need a recipe. I choose a search engine and search. I get about 18 million results on google, but hopefully I choose a decent option right off the bat. I then scroll past the story which the blogger felt was necessary to include. I am there for the recipe, not the narrative about how grandma used to make the best brownies, full of eggs, but since becoming a vegan the blogger needed to recreate the perfect recipe. Her multiple attempts led to a plethora of brownies filling her house, and eventually the perfect brownie, the recipe which will be our reward if we can finally get there, after reading her take on the complete agricultural history of each ingredient. Usually there is a “jump to the recipe” button near the top, causing me to bypass the intriguing story, and leaving me with enough time to make brownies. But, when I am not looking for a recipe, Facebook, knowing I like baking, shows me endless videos of people producing all sorts of foods, most of which I’ll never make. Perhaps I’m not actually interested in the outcome, or else I am to busy, absorbing this information to actually do anything about it.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">John Naish quotes a survey completed by the Henley Centre where 70% of people said they could never have too much information, yet over 50% recognised they had more information than they could deal with (Naish, 16). It is easy, and easily rewarding to consume information. Gaining information is both satisfying and comforting. The more we intake information, the less time we have to use the information productively. Not only does interacting with info take time, it also requires energy, hard work and delayed outcomes. In three minutes I can watch in a video someone decorate 48 cupcakes using six unique methods. Were I to try to create the same product, it would take me hours. Not having the time or energy, I instead watch endless videos. Such video and infotainment are “a pleasurable yet habit-forming, mind-altering and potentially depressing substance.” It is cheap and overly abundant, Naish says, “It’s just like alcohol” (Naish, 38). The difference is, we don’t get hangovers, and most people haven’t learned to set boundaries around our behaviour. While binging on information can be enjoyable, it is critical that we have limits, that we resist forming unhealthy information indulging habits. These habits require us to decide which information we want in our lives, which information will, in fact, be useful. We naturally acquire information. As Naish puts it, “We are so wired to gather information that often we no longer do anything with it” (Naish, 26). Information overload leaves ideas hardly comprehended, and us ever more confused. Rather than pausing, we turn instead, looking for more information. Is this like trying to cure a hangover with a shot of whiskey? When more information leaves us more confused, perhaps it is time to say enough. </p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Constant information can also lead to stress. Reading the covid updates over and again each day can set our hearts pounding, and have our eyes peeled wide, alert, waiting to respond to this treat. According to Naish, “Some psychologists believe the effect [of watching news] is so strong that we should limit our news-watching to only 30 minutes a day — or risk developing anxiety-related depression” (Naish, 17). No matter the distance of the danger, watching news can have us believing the hazard is near. Living under constant threat is exhausting, and at some point it is easier to give in to depression. There is a very real threat that the information we take in will cause us harm. We must say enough information before it steals our attention from the here and now, before it robs us of our ability to care for those nearest to us. Furthermore, the effects reach broader. Baroness Susan Greenfield worries about the use of screens by children. She fears they will grow up to be “a nation of gullible Googlers who won’t even know how to vote responsibly” (Naish, 40). Yikes! 13 years later, is this where we’ve ended up? Our information comes prepackaged, often prescribed by algorithms feeding our biases, or advertisements creating desires within us. When it comes to voting, finding accurate information is critical. Sorting through the information from various sources is incredibly difficult.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">While the information on the internet can be particularly helpful, when, for example, I need a recipe, it is littered with advertising and clickbait. We are easily distracted from our initial purpose. While it is easy to be wary of advertisements which are designed to “catch your attention and make you dissatisfied with the life that you already have” (Naish, 44), they are impossible to avoid. We stare at ads, eager to skip them, unless they are exceptionally well crafted, but perhaps the content we seek is just as quick to leave us unsatisfied, anxious, wanting or depressed. We must control our content input and choose, at times, to disconnect.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Among the advice Naish give to disconnect is the following. To begin with, we can budget our time, set limits to our consumption and stick to them. Doing is easier if we choose to “be happy about the fact that [we] are deliberately choosing to miss things, because it means that [we] have a life” (Naish, 45). Choosing to focus on the positives of limiting our information consumption enables us to abstain joyfully and purposely. This attitude makes it easier to say enough to information. It requires us, however, to have a life. As we change our habits, it is beneficial to choose a new (or neglected) hobby or two. We can also spend the time getting to know our neighbours, a practice Naish promises “extends [our] sense of home security” (Naish, 46). Creating and fostering relationships, and learning from those near us helps us engage in local, tangible events. This interaction is a healthy alternative to constant information consumption. It provides a context information we do consume and gives us a rewarding activity. We can choose to seek information from those around us. This can be just as satisfying.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Information is ever more abundant. We have far more information than we can ever use. This information overload causes stress, and often influences us to make worse decisions. Even when we intentionally seek information, we are bombarded by distractions and advertisements. Escaping from information overload is possible, but requires intentional choice. We must curtail our natural information seeking behaviour to pursue only that information which will benefit us. This can be accomplished as we set personal limits, engage in offline hobbies and get to know our neighbours.</p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">*This was the best number I could find, but I have no idea if it is accurate. The website <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>contradicted itself. <a href="https://www.tubics.com/blog/number-of-youtube-channels/">https://www.tubics.com/blog/number-of-youtube-channels/</a></p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">**Naish, John. Enough : Breaking Free from the World of More. London, Hachette Livre, 2008.</p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-57286746965264583842021-06-15T13:10:00.006-06:002021-06-15T22:46:12.924-06:00Enough<p> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It was over eight years ago when I first picked up John Naish’s book <i>Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I got as far as the first chapter “ Enough Information,” and thought, well, that’s enough.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I lugged the book during various moves, stored it in a box when I was in England, and finally kept it on my shelf collecting dust.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I liked the concept of the book, but never seemed to have enough time, or enough motivation to crack it open again.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Well, as I’m off work to recover from long covid, I’ve had a lot of time to read.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I thought about getting more books, but decided it was time to read <i>Enough</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As I read Naish’s concepts about information, I was challenged not just to read, but to interact with the text.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I got out my pencil to underline word and comment in the margins. I hope to share a few thoughts from each chapter here.</span></p>
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<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVbNBFBC2NOH5Yu1hZdca9BWtv4CLVNM-sHm0tjp4WpU02564UJiEU80ROYLjIgbKq0lYnAIA0miQOtVzKmQGFsQxFObfzE-Dj83O8Bu6en5V0XxYtw8zWVTzJLjXkJbCcdVTbxXiHIPk/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="383" data-original-width="1036" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVbNBFBC2NOH5Yu1hZdca9BWtv4CLVNM-sHm0tjp4WpU02564UJiEU80ROYLjIgbKq0lYnAIA0miQOtVzKmQGFsQxFObfzE-Dj83O8Bu6en5V0XxYtw8zWVTzJLjXkJbCcdVTbxXiHIPk/w640-h237/Screenshot+2021-06-15+at+12.20.52+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">This is a Google Ngram of word usage over the years. One could speculate about how the patterns relate, but I just included it for fun.<br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 18px; line-height: 2em; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">*Naish, John. <i>Enough : Breaking Free from the World of More</i>. London, Hachette Livre, 2008.</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"></span></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-36940697007980586572021-05-06T10:19:00.004-06:002021-05-06T10:19:58.729-06:00On a Little Mermaid Note... I changed some lyrics.<p> <span style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px;">Look at this stuff</span><span style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px;"> </span></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Isn't it neat?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wouldn't think i'm the girl,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The girl who has everything?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Look at this room</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Treasures untold</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How many wonders can one hotel hold?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Lookin' around here you'd think,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sure, she's got everything !</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I've got free meals and coffee’s of plenty</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I've got channels and service galore.</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">(Spoken:) You want cutlery?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I got twenty!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">but who cares?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">No big deal,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I want more!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I wanna be where the people are</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I wanna see,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wanna see 'em dancing</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Walking around on those</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">(Whadaya call 'em)</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Oh, feet!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Going in circles you don't get to far</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Bikes, are required for rolling, cycilng</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Strolling along down a...</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">(What's that word again)</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Street!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Out where they walk</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Out where they run</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Out where they stay all day in the sun</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wonderin' free</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wish I could be</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Part of that world!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">What would I give, </p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">If i could live</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Outta this hotel</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">What would I pay,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">To spend a day</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">holding the hand</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">my wife’s hand </p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">She'd understand,</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Bet she don't let me go again</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">She’s my woman </p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sicka sittin'</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Ready to stand</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And ready ‘member what I useta know</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Ask her my questions</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and get some answers</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">What's a job?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And what does it...</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">(what's the word?)</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Earn!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;"><br /></p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">When's it my turn?</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">wouldn't I love</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Love to explore with my wife my love!</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Outta the room</p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wish I could roam </p>
<p style="color: #191c1f; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">All of that World!</p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-57179913656713944362021-05-06T08:50:00.000-06:002021-05-06T08:50:07.109-06:00Isolation Hotel - The Third Morning<p> I promised a more interesting day yesterday.</p><p>First, I covered the desk with the large paper bags that the food comes in, so I can paint!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2Ad-VDNBXH2abOkkF7KXqloI9AsFJvR6KqojTALovZGXe8QENGEncBfy6MlBHlXgl-waMwDUqNAdmmYPF5Igf19B6t4EoIXBrpiNUcN1WlMCUWGATkkx5_qmFurfBwpPNkI7bYb9MGUC/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2Ad-VDNBXH2abOkkF7KXqloI9AsFJvR6KqojTALovZGXe8QENGEncBfy6MlBHlXgl-waMwDUqNAdmmYPF5Igf19B6t4EoIXBrpiNUcN1WlMCUWGATkkx5_qmFurfBwpPNkI7bYb9MGUC/" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Then, I did some painting, and had lunch on the balcony:<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglueIPn-6tYE0xHuj_ACh5bRN5fvA_ygOGQbf5hhIVsGMVmGAxkXiEtxsPLbOmq2yF7KuJ-DR1opdnUBwUXgcK9Ta-ShyEwZ2G_1Grvd5SbnhIGOwjjNhIOGpH0SPMdK4gvrt91zXoQim7/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglueIPn-6tYE0xHuj_ACh5bRN5fvA_ygOGQbf5hhIVsGMVmGAxkXiEtxsPLbOmq2yF7KuJ-DR1opdnUBwUXgcK9Ta-ShyEwZ2G_1Grvd5SbnhIGOwjjNhIOGpH0SPMdK4gvrt91zXoQim7/" width="180" /></a></div><br /> The lunch, vegetarian rice bowl, didn't have much flavour. <p></p><p>Then I went for my COVID test. Are these trees new?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJuI942kftEBS5BdWGvFwrsroRnYp02_QsuUTDvyXFJwQ6R4QoXmGCRy2C79N9C0kNy9q1FQdftn1_2rzyxunrhI4wqtToz4TkSDlgYHC5hIGy9oD72afwbT8UtoAt4SkULkStLTyYdqIw/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1538" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJuI942kftEBS5BdWGvFwrsroRnYp02_QsuUTDvyXFJwQ6R4QoXmGCRy2C79N9C0kNy9q1FQdftn1_2rzyxunrhI4wqtToz4TkSDlgYHC5hIGy9oD72afwbT8UtoAt4SkULkStLTyYdqIw/" width="180" /></a></div><br />The line was very long. I think I waited about 40 minutes in my car, only to be jabbed in the back of the throat with a swab... I know, they are just doing their job. That's what I signed up for... Still doesn't make it pleasant. On the way back to the hotel, I passed a group of people protesting the new restriction, one wearing a shirt which read, "Jesus is my vaccination." <p></p><p>Painting:</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQkqBMY4ZKE6YvhHk8jplrVWHTYZHgqcXFbM6qWRIAcnjtRHGQl6FKgff0bss9wefRel2YofOGsjXGAP43aPNrm_R1_A8SgEsbR1gwHzCh8c_Jy4ptu4jl3QD-rrYE6EyqNkr-hR0HOTBI/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQkqBMY4ZKE6YvhHk8jplrVWHTYZHgqcXFbM6qWRIAcnjtRHGQl6FKgff0bss9wefRel2YofOGsjXGAP43aPNrm_R1_A8SgEsbR1gwHzCh8c_Jy4ptu4jl3QD-rrYE6EyqNkr-hR0HOTBI/" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKCLcCHVOI1KxWvhl4xJ4ETQH52VtPuAQNbVotHAPicu4wkxM87bbgI0Yv0Eu88J9sntfKztydss9oradvqufwaL3lGyaQSO6rDPi8Lh6uc-DWHczpPdQKFUmB_oPDiuZ6EQ5VEn3PW4e1/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="1632" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKCLcCHVOI1KxWvhl4xJ4ETQH52VtPuAQNbVotHAPicu4wkxM87bbgI0Yv0Eu88J9sntfKztydss9oradvqufwaL3lGyaQSO6rDPi8Lh6uc-DWHczpPdQKFUmB_oPDiuZ6EQ5VEn3PW4e1/" width="320" /></a></div><br />When I woke up this morning, I had a message on my phone: COVID test = Negative! Yay!<p></p><p>I am hoping that means I get to go home soon! But, just like getting here, leaving is a multistep process. First I called 811, they can submit a change to my prison release date, and then I will be free to go... once I pack everything up. </p><p>Breakfast this morning, scrambled eggs:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoVYgrloXUVd2q6SpI6xG3tWLZwAhV_O6jhHwWi_EdLwOl_xhv0tN-mw8_RuCNYsplU_KDgIdR1gQKy1wJNDv7zFOqmBJ96LUz3QqzAzwfTDy9W1w2qEfba2j3djVdmKmjhSG7E0Tvic7b/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoVYgrloXUVd2q6SpI6xG3tWLZwAhV_O6jhHwWi_EdLwOl_xhv0tN-mw8_RuCNYsplU_KDgIdR1gQKy1wJNDv7zFOqmBJ96LUz3QqzAzwfTDy9W1w2qEfba2j3djVdmKmjhSG7E0Tvic7b/" width="180" /></a></div><br />Again, the menu promised mushrooms... I was looking forward to the mushrooms. I suspect the quality of food preparation decreases when individuals are not paying for their food, and have no interactions with the cooks. Well, I am trying not to be too picky, and as nice as it is to have someone cook for me, and not worry about washing dishes, I am looking forward to going home and making my own food. The only food I've really enjoyed since being here was the vegetarian lasagna, which I ordered again for lunch today. I wonder if I'll get it before I leave?<p></p><p><br /></p><p>I'd like to thank Little Mermaid for teaching me the true purpose of a dinglehopper. I forgot my comb, but the hotel kindly provided me a dinglehopper with each meal. </p><p><br /></p><p>Well, I guess it is time to start packing! </p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-75644323301342733532021-05-05T09:55:00.002-06:002021-05-05T09:55:37.248-06:00Isolation Hotel - The Second Morning<p> It has occurred to me that if I am going to blog about my isolation hotel experience every day, that I'd better start doing something interesting! I spent yesterday surfing the web, sleeping, exercising and then planning for and then teaching my online class. Not wanting my students to think I was in a bedroom, I turned around the desk (do you know how heavy hotel furniture is? like 300 pounds!) so that behind my head was nothing more than a wall. It was the first class of this semester, and I wanted to appear at least a little professional. I changed my top and started class on time. </p><p>Well, that's it. I'll try my best to do something a little more exciting today.</p><p><br /></p><p>Yesterday's lunch, vegetarian lasagna and salad:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmfHXDFUKQX9nfkXi-25q9F1wEuJfjjqmeJFJ9_FC2gkcbr4MX_C_IG5lfepyt5A3U6uWHam3q9YVf_XIlrXoCkCif1xAKUPuqsyHceAWM06wsQUtx6sdKLwrQl5twjguBT8Vot_rORzDa/s2048/IMG_8079.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmfHXDFUKQX9nfkXi-25q9F1wEuJfjjqmeJFJ9_FC2gkcbr4MX_C_IG5lfepyt5A3U6uWHam3q9YVf_XIlrXoCkCif1xAKUPuqsyHceAWM06wsQUtx6sdKLwrQl5twjguBT8Vot_rORzDa/s320/IMG_8079.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-8783737764290254582021-05-04T08:40:00.003-06:002021-05-04T08:40:39.537-06:00Isolation Hotel - The First Morning<p> Before we talk about this morning, let's talk about how I landed a free hotel stay at the expense of the government. Not to get too political, but perhaps part of me blames the government for letting covid get so out of control while keeping my workplace open. It seemed like only a matter of time before there'd be a case, and once one, many. Well, the news came as I was at work yesterday, just one case, so far. My nose suddenly felt a little stuffy, and my anxiety rose. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to get my wife sick. I sat in the car, outside our house and called her. We weren't sure what to do. We made the short term plan that I would hang out in the laundry room. She left me some food, and also some seeds which I planted outside. I looked up the hotel stay program, and decided I'd go with that option, if they'd have me. I worried I wasn't sick enough, and I hadn't actually been considered a close contact to the case at work, not yet. I called 211, they asked my if I had my own bedroom and bathroom. I don't. They told me I'd receive a call from Alberta Health. A couple hours later I received the call and was asked even more questions about my health, my location and my diet. I was told they would submit the referral to the Alberta government for approval, and to see if there were spaces. Again I had to wait. I was told the wait could be up to 24 hours. At that point, my wife and I started talking about what we'd do for the night. It was decided that I could take the bedroom, and she'd take the living room. Not too long after that, I got the call from "the government," saying they had a hotel for me to stay in. Then I had to begin packing. What do you take when you are going to live in a hotel for 7-14 days with no chance of escape?</p><p>Now I'm here, floor nine, and it's morning, the sun shining in the window, over the balcony. It is a hotel room like any other, a bed with white sheets, a bunch of lamps, a large TV, a little desk and a mini fridge. Of course the bathroom is filled with little bottles of mouthwash and hand sanitizer and the like. I don't think I'll need the hand sanitizer here, so I guess I get to take it home, like a little souvenir. </p><p>Every day I get to order my food for the next day. I circle my choices on a menu, and leave in outside my door. This morning I watched through the peephole as the food was delivered in large brown paper bags to each of the rooms. There were a lot of bags of food, I guess I am not the only one staying in this hotel. </p><p>For now I'd better enjoy the novelty of staying here, before I realised just how small this room is, and how utterly trapped I am. </p><p>Today's Breakfast: The menu promised chia seeds on the granola. I don't see any chia seeds! I want my money back... oh wait, I didn't pay for it.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgfPEK_WOX37LtoNT71gHLmgeeWktuFvA7vkbMcvWcYd6DN6mxOpUMG6lxsj5PeBBV5WvXyYg5vcacxn6wO346AxHFez6LeCqO0uRLkCbiEqRg0ma4HttqamAJdlhSHP2OK2jdRnwNsqCh/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgfPEK_WOX37LtoNT71gHLmgeeWktuFvA7vkbMcvWcYd6DN6mxOpUMG6lxsj5PeBBV5WvXyYg5vcacxn6wO346AxHFez6LeCqO0uRLkCbiEqRg0ma4HttqamAJdlhSHP2OK2jdRnwNsqCh/" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p> </p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-15577479450083690642021-04-18T22:13:00.002-06:002021-04-18T22:13:40.932-06:00Carest Thou Not That We Perish?<p>When I was a missionary, I experienced some anxiety. Not just some anxiety, the worst anxiety of my life. It got to the point where I was crying multiple times a day, terrified to leave the house where I was staying. Through this time, I had an amazing companion who held me when I cried and reminded me how to breathe. Her support was amazing, but I never got better. I was just looking over a hymn I contemplated during that time, "Master the Tempest Is Raging." Then and now I can relate to lot of the feelings attributed to the disciples of Jesus as they were tossed in the storm. The tempest of covid, the rising wave, growing bigger, coming closer, "Carest thou not [Jason Kenney] that we perish? How canst thou lie asleep When each moment so madly is threat'ning A grave in the angry deep?" The song calls out, to some powerful other, to act, to change the situation, to speak and be obeyed. The song trusts that the will of the almighty is peace and stillness. And yet, the disciple, I, continue to cry out as if not heard over the raging storm. "Master with anguish of spirit I bow in my grief today. The depths of my sad heart are troubled. Oh, waken and save I pray! Torrents of sin and of anguish Sweep o'er my sinking soul, And I perish! I perish! dear Master. Oh hasten and take control!" While the song continues to a place of rest on a blissful shore, no matter how much I cried out, that promised shore remained a frail hope. The third verse of the song too quickly turned positive that I couldn't quite believe it possible. Though I wish now that those in charge would take stronger actions to prevent the third wave from rising ever higher and crashing down on us, I am left feeling insignificant. Nobody is listening to me. The peace and calm of a post covid world are beyond my grasp and past a daunting third wave. I see only the wave. It blocks both the sun and any hope from my view. How long must I wait? How much longer? I thought 2021 was the year. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS63xB4MdyBleaYbXE40f1_nNIZZik3wpDhfQ8YEs5j1haH4jsBkdax3H0KTRehYgITjaeeKuXU-iDLwTqcgXMpjaOOE_cwbRyBdTaw2msoamk7VVa2eXcddI441eOf8q2YPC8bNtVZ5jZ/s2035/Three+Boats.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2023" data-original-width="2035" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS63xB4MdyBleaYbXE40f1_nNIZZik3wpDhfQ8YEs5j1haH4jsBkdax3H0KTRehYgITjaeeKuXU-iDLwTqcgXMpjaOOE_cwbRyBdTaw2msoamk7VVa2eXcddI441eOf8q2YPC8bNtVZ5jZ/s320/Three+Boats.png" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p>As a missionary, I too waited for the end to come. Then, after I'd been a missionary for about a year, my anxiety began to go away. Never completely, but the impending doom was lifted, and the sunshine no longer obscured. There were some situational changes that were beyond my control, but those weren't the reason I could see the sun. At some point I realised that happiness was a choice, it was a mood I could choose, and I didn't have to wait for God to change the circumstances. I didn't have to wait until I went home. I could find happiness where I was. It worked. My attitude changed because I decided it would change. I sang. I sang happy songs, not song about some distant hope nor pie in the sky, but songs about goodness on earth, now. I sang:</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"</span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">In a world where sorrow</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Ever will be known,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Where are found the needy</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And the sad and lone,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">How much joy and comfort</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">You can all bestow,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">If you scatter sunshine</span></p><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Ev’rywhere you go."</span></div></blockquote><p> Rather than waiting for happiness to find me, rather than trusting some other being to rid me of anxiety, I took that decision into my own hands. I wonder if I can't do that today. Sometimes I feel that I have a right be be upset. I have a right to be anxious as I am often in close contact with others at work. I have a right to blame to government for letting people die, for keeping my workplace open. I have a right to worry about the health of those I love. I have the right to be grumpy when I start work early. I have the right to be miserable. So, maybe I do, but what good does any of that do me, or those around me? I may have a right to be anxious, but what if I can choose to be happy? I know it isn't easy, but I've done it before, so I trust that it is possible. With some counselling, with constant little choices to see good in the world around me, with a smile on my face and thanksgiving in my heart, it is possible.</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"When the days are gloomy,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Sing some happy song;</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Meet the world’s repining</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">With a courage strong.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Go with faith undaunted</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Thru the ills of life;</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Scatter smiles and sunshine</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(85, 85, 85); color: #555555; font-family: Domine, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">O’er its toil and strife."</span></p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>* Master the Tempest Is Raging: Text: Mary Ann Baker</p><p>** Scatter Sunshine: Text: Lanta Wilson Smith </p><br /><p><br /></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-47106471905442140432020-12-17T17:53:00.004-07:002020-12-17T19:41:28.932-07:00My Coming Out Monologue<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyBmawQN846NXDLM3C9NxVUsNgP0tUB1FrZjAebwGvr45GHb4JEXKtKahuIbOdL3fjrCPK5XkmVuTCtZ1V22A' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <p></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-54702427636831220512020-10-19T19:50:00.001-06:002020-10-19T19:50:11.566-06:00Take Me to Church<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">There weren't many trees downtown, but the few in the plaza blew in the wind as Erica walked to church. She squeezed her girlfriend's hand, trying to steal her warmth. The two women hurried, they didn't want to be late for their first church meeting. Erica glanced at Helen, jealous of her long hair covering her ears, keeping her warm. Erica stopped for a moment to brush Helen hair from her face. Feeling the eyes of strangers, they walked, rather than kissed. It was a feeling Erica hated, the feeling that she couldn't just be her. Helen gripped Erica's hand as a man under the influence of who knows what approached them, asking for money. Erica said hi, trying hard not to judge his situation, not to breathe in his stench, as the walked hurriedly by. It was still before 10 in the morning, the clouds overhead making the day gloomy and dark. <br />"Church kicked us out," Helen said, the tone of her voice clearly showing she was reliving the feeling from the day the were told not to come back if they were going to be gay. "I can't believe where we're headed."<br />"It's a different church," Erica promised. "If I can't go there, hold your hand and tell people you're my girlfriend, we'll get the heck out."<br />The couple turned the corner. A group of young men, speaking a language they couldn't recognise walked rapidly towards them. Erica felt small, intimidated. She squished into Helen as they passed the group. A car raced down the street, moments later sirens followed. <br />Finally they were at the church, not its own building, but a rented space among commercial real estate. A pride flag flew next to the door, already putting Erica at ease. The two women filed in as a woman with short white hair stood up to welcome everyone to church. Erica and Helen found two chair near the back, and hoped they could become wallpaper. The singing and sermon passed. A song they recognised, a new song. As the service came to an end, they thought about sneaking out quickly. The same woman who started the service, stopped them before they could. <br />"My name's Betty," she said, extending her hand.<br />"I'm Erica, and this is my girlfriend Helen."<br />Erica held Helen's hand, holding it to make it clear exactly what type of girlfriends they were. <br />“You’re more than welcome here,” Betty said, not even flinching, “There are cookies and coffee at the back if you have time to stay and chat a bit.”<br />Erica breathed out deeply. She hadn’t realised she’d been holding her breath all morning. Betty introduced her to others, not leaving out the fact that they were girlfriends. Their relationship could be celebrated, not hidden. Erica held up her cookie to Helen, offering her a bite. When Helen turned, Erica removed the cookie and stole a kiss instead.<br />“Such a cute couple,” Betty said to another elderly churchgoer, loud enough to be overheard.<br />The women kissed again, and then Erica finally shared her cookie.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijvs6DQKXiwHmM-nia1mbt4-LVwRZInR5rdc5jFrxISjDBY3PKOMknMLyKsAK9RIH2ftnPNheC8fSufeyDiXQPEBhZ_CCij9gdG49pYMYqcbyoJsVz395VbdhmRLAnUbMSrNf-YFMz8K14/s2048/00920AFD-889C-48DB-9B22-06A043A5D5E9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijvs6DQKXiwHmM-nia1mbt4-LVwRZInR5rdc5jFrxISjDBY3PKOMknMLyKsAK9RIH2ftnPNheC8fSufeyDiXQPEBhZ_CCij9gdG49pYMYqcbyoJsVz395VbdhmRLAnUbMSrNf-YFMz8K14/s320/00920AFD-889C-48DB-9B22-06A043A5D5E9.jpeg" /></a></div><br /></span></div>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-18463352621750564042020-10-04T16:50:00.001-06:002020-10-04T16:50:13.588-06:00Moon Song<div><span style="font-family: verdana;"> <br />New moon, new moon<br />buy a roll or two<br />close your gates, close your doors<br />’til the moon is through</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />Crescent, crescent<br />wash you dirty hands<br />cov’r your nose, cov’r your mouth<br />cancel all your plans</span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="353" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6a44FjlKbl0qHd5zrKPUMwrqg5YugUWHJ75PYT-6Ito84sDJWhuoKPaQntoLJH_T98CI-T8jMZpgOoPa4J96_7_BMYDNTycqfLtEC6tN4o1TizXCgUtdgB2913bPqOMY3PqKyU1h34dNT/s320/Moon+Song.jpg" width="320" /></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />Half moon, half moon<br />bake a loaf of bread<br />let it sit, let it rise<br />Watch it grow and spread</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />Full moon, full moon<br />when will this song end?<br />go to class, go to school<br />sing this song again</span></div>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-83116678535720289262020-10-04T16:23:00.003-06:002020-10-04T16:23:52.934-06:00Bridge<p>Diamonds are Trump</p><p>They've got no Heart</p><p>Fineness the King of Spades.</p><p>Slough a Club. Trump a Club.</p><p>Keep 'em in their place.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8oR8xw-gq6Fwn8TdcGOT4HnkU09vG1sF5zIVtNF8RoAe9ywfqWgB6jYwUbiKz9gzPWHoyi6o73AZ-8jeAEhtvmsy07vGOSwQ3-R_J95qMRL2Z4MLSNbtAI0yIMEhiR0jN47yjRrrIsDv6/s2048/FullSizeRender.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1954" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8oR8xw-gq6Fwn8TdcGOT4HnkU09vG1sF5zIVtNF8RoAe9ywfqWgB6jYwUbiKz9gzPWHoyi6o73AZ-8jeAEhtvmsy07vGOSwQ3-R_J95qMRL2Z4MLSNbtAI0yIMEhiR0jN47yjRrrIsDv6/s320/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-4242561519555193782020-09-17T21:38:00.003-06:002020-09-17T21:53:48.912-06:00In the Beginning<p> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px;">In the Beginning.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">100 Trees - Day 4</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_4XCMSnI8CX49wjIhqdYbZUjladBL3BoCFCtUiNqOXvhctyhavjCy09BTc1PygAyuw00Y85cyTiVm_p7L8Am2DXof4vAneGUqGJffBkyfoHmzcmCyGxzo_JxOs-1Gpu3SqUiCnKhZdzV/s1484/IMG_6812.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1484" data-original-width="1409" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_4XCMSnI8CX49wjIhqdYbZUjladBL3BoCFCtUiNqOXvhctyhavjCy09BTc1PygAyuw00Y85cyTiVm_p7L8Am2DXof4vAneGUqGJffBkyfoHmzcmCyGxzo_JxOs-1Gpu3SqUiCnKhZdzV/s320/IMG_6812.png" /></a></div><br /><p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Chalk in hand, the girl drew a line. “You say on your side, I’ll stay on mine,” Eva said to the boy. She traced the line again and again, widening it each time.</p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">“I don’t want to be on your side anyhow,” the Edison retorted. “It’s ugly.”</p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">She drew the line thicker, “My side has a beautiful tree, delicious fruit. I can climb it and spy on you. All you’ve got is bushes and—“ She froze as she saw a friend walk by. “Abi! come join my side. It is beautiful. Besides, all Edison’s got is a dumb bush.”</p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Eva handed Abi a piece of chalk and the two drew together. When Kade walked by, the children called out to him, begging him to join their side. Abi promised it was paradise with her and Eva. Kade didn’t join a side. Instead he drew Abi away. Neither of them came back. </p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">When Zeth walked by, Edison called louder, promised grander and gained Zeth’s loyalty. Eva was angered. She was down, two against one, but she didn’t give up. Others walked by, and she kept calling them over. Some joined her, others went with Edison. None were allowed to stand on the thick divide. Those who tried were pulled one way or the other. The degrading comments continued to fly, voices raising louder and the gap grew wider. Eventually the two sides were so far apart, they couldn’t even see the other’s side to criticise it. Still the criticism flew. The criticism could no longer be heard by the opposition, but each side felt better, hearing from their own, about the atrocities of the enemies. </p>
<p style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">When Kade returned, he no longer recognised the place. He stood in the middle and called out to Eva and Edison. They couldn’t or wouldn’t hear him. He wasn’t sure which. He set up a tent, hoping that others, disenchanted, would soon join him.</p><div><br /></div>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-12370597387920222212020-09-16T14:42:00.002-06:002020-09-16T14:42:10.436-06:00100 Trees - Face Mask Tree<p> A couple years ago I decided to write 100 stories, on a day, about apples. Well, I've decided to try this exercise again, but this time with a tree theme. Here is my story for day 3.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKOVqMnkzsXzkWPvNhKAtUcBNe6SbAnr2bdb-wLubmaPn59K7nSGK5R2uO-3DrwvR1Q-ZPyP6e0exnQYzrxv2unzcIlE1hHuu5gGvnZnYbfllCOIUtBMDy9EpFUhzXF19sWy4Sk1WJKSPA/s2048/FullSizeRender.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1850" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKOVqMnkzsXzkWPvNhKAtUcBNe6SbAnr2bdb-wLubmaPn59K7nSGK5R2uO-3DrwvR1Q-ZPyP6e0exnQYzrxv2unzcIlE1hHuu5gGvnZnYbfllCOIUtBMDy9EpFUhzXF19sWy4Sk1WJKSPA/s320/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">From the distance I could see the leaves blowing in the wind; large, symmetrical, pleated. I walked toward the tree, wondering if I could pluck just one leaf for myself.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">“Save the tree!” protesters shouted. The stood around the tree, holding signs that said, “leaves are for trees, not for me.” “No leaves leave trees,” and “tree lives matter.” I didn’t want to hurt the tree, in fact, from what I understood, the tree wanted to give its leaves away, yet those who gave voice to the tree told me otherwise. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I looked away, seeking other pieces of information, wondering where I got my information from, which news to believe. I could see it from where I stood, another crowd marching, leaves covering their mouths, but not silencing their cries. “All lives matter,” they cried, “protect others with leaves,” “Be selfless like trees.” Caught between the two group, I didn’t know where to go. If I wanted to join the one, I had to get past the other that blocked the leaves. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">My eyes were first to sense the smoke. I heard others cough. People looked in the distance, a flame, ever growing, was coming nearer. They turned and fled past me, while I stood immobilised, realising the soon fate of this tree. The fire, with a flame for a tongue was coming to devour it. Only then, with the noise of the protestors far in the distance, could I hear the whisper of the tree, “come, please, take my leaves.” I rushed to the tree, taking from it its final gift, loving it for its sacrifice. I wept, wishing my tears could form a river, and oasis to protect the tree. I imagined a world with just me and the tree and no other voices. The tears managed only to clean the smoke from my eyes for a moment, long enough to see how close the fire was. I hugged the tree as I reached for one last leaf, and then I ran. I ran to safety with both those who had protested “leaves,” and “no leaves.”</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: "Graphik Web", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"></p>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-72508767539146791742020-09-02T13:39:00.004-06:002020-09-02T13:39:49.536-06:00Black Lives Matter and I'm Gay<p> I saw a comment on Twitter, wondering why Black Lives Matter is supported by the LGBTQ2S+ community. So, I thought about this. A thought that resonated with me is that it isn't okay just to not be racist, we must be anti-racist. The reason I got this, the reason I understood it, was because I could liken it to my experience with homophobia. Unless proven otherwise, I often assume everyone is homophobic. Perhaps this isn't fair, but for me, it is safe. I have some amazing friends who've invited me to join them at city hall to fight against conversion therapy. Friends who watched my monologue, and talked to me about it, showing their support. Friends who knew I was gay before I did, and stuck with me as I figured it out. Friends, who asked with excitement, to see my wedding pictures. I have other friends, good friends even, who've never convinced me that they are not homophobic. They've never opened up about their perspective, never gone out of their way to show support. Perhaps they don't have to do this. Perhaps it is asking too much. Perhaps it isn't safe for them. But their silence leads me to wonder if I am safe around them. If they don't make it apparent that they are anti-homophobic, I am quick to fear that their anti-gay religious upbringing is still directing their thoughts.</p><p>Enough about this. What am I doing to show I am anti-racist? How can I be a safe person for BIPOCs?</p><p>Identifying as part of a marginalised group helps me understand a little bit what it is other marginalised groups experience. Perhaps this is why queer folk are quick to support Black Lives Matter, to some extent we get it. But BLM isn't a queer issue, it is a people issue. BLM is about people, about supporting our brothers and sisters of colour, This is something everyone should get behind. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5VY9_41Rs2xPd-VR4IkMXEegOT0Fy3jIRioeytDFgyyyOO3E-eI6dr496TZa6PPCCLNaZ5QGCCeQH_Dl1dtsAq6NEjEMap34oA3PCf6QSp7wDR8Hkx743br2yuvWswol5gPOHiz-8CAC/s1671/IMG_8205+copy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1475" data-original-width="1671" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5VY9_41Rs2xPd-VR4IkMXEegOT0Fy3jIRioeytDFgyyyOO3E-eI6dr496TZa6PPCCLNaZ5QGCCeQH_Dl1dtsAq6NEjEMap34oA3PCf6QSp7wDR8Hkx743br2yuvWswol5gPOHiz-8CAC/w512-h452/IMG_8205+copy.jpeg" width="512" /></a></div><p>"<span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.000000953674316px;">I might not be the same But that's not important</span></p><p><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.000000953674316px;">No freedom 'til we're equal</span></p><span jsname="YS01Ge" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.000000953674316px;">Damn right I support it" - Macklemore</span>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-20974594508514515172020-08-28T19:52:00.004-06:002020-08-28T19:52:45.147-06:00Some Nights<h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><span face="">"Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end<br /></span><span face="">'Cause I could use some friends for a change." - Some Nights - fun.</span></span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1659" data-original-width="1732" height="383" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKi2m2RT6XXdxJRphhmfIAtGYBOG9x5fgt-wVCdm7e47Zs4Rj_Ghum6kVQsgBkfn5GHAAn4VpnpCN4xaghbqGdN_Hm-E3lyrA7rZbzkmTV4wArKY6WFC6PypH51ZSOSgIPB-LmO6RDnT0_/w400-h383/IMG_8381+closeup.jpeg" width="400" /></div></div><div><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span face="" style="font-size: medium;">There have been many benefits of working online, of isolating and staying home. In general, I like down time, I like my garden, I've enjoyed biking. While like most of us, I wish I could be a little more disciplined with my time, I can't really complain about the change of pace that's taken place over the past five months. Of course I wish the cause away, but I am doing fine, or at least I thought I was doing fine.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span face="" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span face="" style="font-size: medium;">Spending five months living in fear has taken its toll on me, throw in a bit of pre-existing social anxiety, the past five months have felt very isolating. I flip-flop between wanting to stay at home with just my wife, to desiring social interaction. When I want to spend time with friends, I suddenly don't know how. All the social skills I've taught myself over the years are failing me. I don't know if it is okay to hang out with people, I'm not sure if I want to get too close, and I don't know how they feel about getting close to me. The people open to hanging out with others, are the ones I am more afraid of being with. So, I don't hang out with anyone. </span></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span face="" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span face="" style="font-size: medium;">We are encouraged to socialise using our phone or an app. This is even more difficult for me. It always has been. So, I'm a little lonely, a little anxious. I am so grateful for my wife who suffers with me, holds me when I am anxious, and also misses socialising with people. We're trying to figure this out, but I'm not sure if we're getting anywhere.</span></span></div>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-4217516778069324782020-08-25T17:06:00.002-06:002020-08-25T17:06:16.460-06:00Coming Out Monologues - What I Didn't Say.<p> I wrote two different monologues. This is the one I didn't share because I don't know if I believe it. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGYOgXX-pw_MVRhF2Q9a5oYSJNTmLCss_bPFkoOSHCTRDcuiNrElLMQVoU7ltSicZaOVMPFUdv9rm3-nV80g358fvL2cHXJsaHyvyshU1bWAJ3Iy1V_cI39SQeSVu6mBfWdgGYMsG5mLm/s473/Screenshot+2020-08-25+at+5.03.31+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="105" data-original-width="473" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGYOgXX-pw_MVRhF2Q9a5oYSJNTmLCss_bPFkoOSHCTRDcuiNrElLMQVoU7ltSicZaOVMPFUdv9rm3-nV80g358fvL2cHXJsaHyvyshU1bWAJ3Iy1V_cI39SQeSVu6mBfWdgGYMsG5mLm/s0/Screenshot+2020-08-25+at+5.03.31+PM.png" /></a></div><p><span style="color: #800180; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: x-large;">Amazing grace… how sweet… the sound, that saved… a wretch… like me. </span><span style="color: #800180; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: x-large;">I once was lost… but now am found, was blind… but now… I see.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Can I get an Amen?</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Amen</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Hallelujah </span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">When I was but a young child, 10 or 11 small years lived, the Spirit, spoke in the softest of voices to me. So soft that I didn’t realise it was her. I spoke my impression to a friend, a new found realisation about self. Too embarrassed to say sex, I whispered to my friend, “I’d rather do it with a girl than a boy.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Silence was her response.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I tried to take back my word, erase what I had said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">But I had spoken words of God for they were words of truth.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I lived in denial. The Spirit had reached out to me, but I would not accept the truth.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">How dark it is to deny the Spirit of God. To deny truth is to walk through the valley of shadow and death, blind and alone.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Seven years went past before I glimpsed at truth again. A friend reached out to me, inviting me to see who God had created me to be.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">He knit me together in mother’s womb.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">But I believed it was wrong to be me. Not that God had made a mistake, but I lived in fear of messing up. My friend came to me as a prophetess, and I rejected her. That was my mistake.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">You can be prophets. Share your truth! Let other’s reject it if they choose. Worry not, for you shall have done your job.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Woe to those who deny the prophets, for they live in darkness.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I lived in darkness and lies. I dated with out love, and loved without action. I lived but was not alive.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">In the centre of Babylon, mourners lied down, dressed in black wailing the loss of those they loved, those who were told their love was unnatural, sinful.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">God is love. Love, all love is of God. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">Children, refused the love of God, had taken their lives. Mourners on the street protested “this should not be!” I sat with them, but I didn’t understand.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">How lost, was I. How far from the truth. By the river of Babylon I had no words, no tears and no love.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">“Repent!” says the spirit. She calls to me, she opens my eyes to the hopelessness of my path. “Repent, Turn, Love.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I saw the warning, but I did not heed it. Determined I carried on in the wrong direction. I damned, not only myself, on the path of destruction, but sought to bring others down with me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">This is what it means to be lost, hardened against truth, rejecting light, until it came in the form of an Angel.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">My Angel came. And just and Jesus himself did, my Angel met me where I was at. She didn’t sparkle to the common eye, but in the lowly state she took to be with me, I saw her glory. Her splendour was interior, but, thanks be to God, I was allowed to see it. Her splendour was her love. It took a while for her brilliant love to wear at the hard walls of my soul, but she didn’t give up on me. Her patience was a river, ever flowing, ever eroding my exterior.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I am saved! I have been found! I have experienced the light and love of God. Now I see. When I ignored the Spirit of God, the prophetess, the warnings, God’s love pursued me. He sent his Angel to rescue me. God is love and love is love. This love is for each of you! This love is available now, for you and you and you.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">“Come,” the Spirit cries “Come, be found. See.” Do not wait any longer. Now, today is the time.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #800180; font-size: large;">I say God is good. You say all the time. I say all the time. You say God is good.<br />
<br />
God is good<br />
<br />
All the time<br />
<br />
All the time<br />
<br />
God is good.<br />
<br />
Amen</span></p><div><br /></div>yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-50847397272459468382020-06-15T09:52:00.001-06:002020-06-15T09:57:19.536-06:00Rhubarb Muffins - Vegan and Low-Fat<div style="color: #454545; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: 17pt;">Try as I might, I couldn't find a low fat, vegan rhubarb muffin recipe, so I had to create my own. I was happy how these turned out moist, yummy and fluffy! Here's the recipe:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTcHVf2w8aU6NNrSPxfnbKBkZzajPkq5VKGxnFcZAweMTcBayEaF-ERUN1RGfn3TcUx0azIf1-PrWcGO107KhrRSVaA7oOwt0PVKiT6dW9rgmcEmIEN9YMvyRpoFo1ykT5baUusSu5-WER/s1600/IMG_7416.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTcHVf2w8aU6NNrSPxfnbKBkZzajPkq5VKGxnFcZAweMTcBayEaF-ERUN1RGfn3TcUx0azIf1-PrWcGO107KhrRSVaA7oOwt0PVKiT6dW9rgmcEmIEN9YMvyRpoFo1ykT5baUusSu5-WER/s320/IMG_7416.jpeg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-size: 17pt;">1 1/2 cups rhubarb chopped into 1 cm cubes</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">3/4 cups sugar</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">1 cup apple sauce </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">2 teaspoons vanilla</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">1/4 cup soy milk</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">1 3/4 cups flour </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">2 Tablespoons ground flax seed</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">2 teaspoons baking powder</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">1/2 teaspoon baking soda</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">A pinch of salt</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">Lightly grease a muffin tin, or line it with paper liners. Preheat the over to 325 F. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">Sprinkle 1/4 cup sugar over the chopped rhubarb and set aside. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">Mix the other 1/2 cup of rhubarb with the apple sauce, milk and vanilla. Add flour, flax, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Mix partially. Add the rhubarb mixture and mix until just combined. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">Spoon batter equally into the 12 muffin cups. Bake on a middle shelf until done. </span></div>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-39405502824714946182020-06-03T10:00:00.003-06:002020-06-03T20:47:37.946-06:00Black Lives Matter<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFjIPR9QZot-RkorrDnVIqcIhe4aGEeYQ-XPewndIE3hR308s0rAqzotZX_n47HWnMo1yG01hVwqMTRUN4p6TsMRaY55fOPFaTjkfBwnl0WX8PuLc9NuMPS2KaxYuutUe3ZKotS7kSglUe/s1600/FullSizeRender+2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1240" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFjIPR9QZot-RkorrDnVIqcIhe4aGEeYQ-XPewndIE3hR308s0rAqzotZX_n47HWnMo1yG01hVwqMTRUN4p6TsMRaY55fOPFaTjkfBwnl0WX8PuLc9NuMPS2KaxYuutUe3ZKotS7kSglUe/s400/FullSizeRender+2.jpeg" width="308" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;">Why not just say “all lives matter.” All lives matter, yes, we know that. All lives matter is just too easy to say. It overlooks the very cause which demands the rally cry, black lives matter! When we say "all live matter," we really say nothing at all. When we say "black lives matter," we say what needs to be said, heard and believed. Women’s lives matter. Indigenous lives matter. Queer lives matter. Yes! Absolutely! Yes! All lives matter. Sure we can say that, but now is the time to declared that black lives are lives too, and black lives matter. Let's not just said it, let's act like we believe it by standing up for our black sisters and brothers who have been oppressed for so long. Now is the time to join in solidarity with those who’s lives are so often taken for granted. Now it is time to fight against a long racist history in hopes for a better world to come. Black Lives Matter!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6WBhyTdEilI6xmRjSQKzybYZD3uOj_s0EJ3EEo7PrPviC3oEAqHq30-2UETNnMz7Elqc29Z038nhZHLMCbxTIMZjspWojWcCRui8AnFjLgsqpFDJu89VFGSdgCfRRg2PoCG8kZNe4iM5/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1358" data-original-width="1600" height="542" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6WBhyTdEilI6xmRjSQKzybYZD3uOj_s0EJ3EEo7PrPviC3oEAqHq30-2UETNnMz7Elqc29Z038nhZHLMCbxTIMZjspWojWcCRui8AnFjLgsqpFDJu89VFGSdgCfRRg2PoCG8kZNe4iM5/s640/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-73760859414831156652020-05-23T10:58:00.003-06:002020-05-23T10:58:47.173-06:00Calgary's Proposed Ban on Conversion TherapyThese are the thoughts I sent in regarding Calgary's proposed bylaw to ban conversion therapy:<br />
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I was denied conversion therapy.</div>
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I wanted to change, and while I thought I might always be a lesbian, I was yet determined to marry a man and have kids, the traditional family. Whether or not this possibility had been explicitly taught in my faith, I had learned it, and I believed in it. I chose a counsellor of my faith, convinced he could help me to this end. Bearing fear and shame, I approached him. I read to him the goals I’d written and asked him, if not to change my orientation, to help me date boys and to lessen my attraction to women. He listened without judgment, sought to better understand me, confirmed my wishes and began by helping me realize my anxieties. I learned a lot of useful strategies, but got impatient, wondering when he would teach me how to like boys. At some point I had to realize that he didn’t believe in the outdated practice of conversion therapy. He refused to give me hope that I could happily marry a boy. He wouldn’t lead me where it was impossible to go. I stopped seeing him when I moved away. My money spent on counselling didn’t lead to a single date with a boy. But, the time I spent in counselling gave me courage to face the fear of accepting myself. I learned to deal with social anxiety. While I don’t know my counsellors personal beliefs, he followed the guidelines of counselling communities and years of research. I’m grateful that he didn’t hinder my personal development, but let me begin to explore my sexual nature in a non-judgmental environment of faith.</div>
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I support the bylaw to ban conversion therapy.</div>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-76365194893709512672019-12-18T21:05:00.000-07:002019-12-18T21:05:25.101-07:00Thankful to the end of the year 1929-oops a few too many.<ol style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Thankful for free climbing wall. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Glad I could go there with SJ and our friend A. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Thankful for my wife's hard work. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And her parents</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Grateful to help make piñatas. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And for ice cream</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And for my colonoscopy tomorrow. I don't think it will be fun, but it will be nice to know if everything is okay. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Grateful to be able to process some of my time as a missionary. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Grateful for my companion B in the MTC </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I'm glad I felt comfortable with her. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And for the other sisters in our room. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am grateful for the teachers. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I appreciate their enthusiasm. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am grateful I was able to learn teaching skills. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I learned to teach people, not just lessons. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I was able to gain some teaching confidence at the MTC. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I am still able to teach. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Lights. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The darkness that makes the lights even prettier. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Inspiration on the bus. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Beautiful sunset tonight. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Black Friday is over!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My mom. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her willingness to pick me up tomorrow. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her health advice. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Nova Scotia. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Beautiful places in Canada. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Pictures of my dad. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Charades. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Friends who like to play games. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">A push for green energy. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Inspirational young people. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for garbage presentations. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Inspiration to care for the earth. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Christmas lights at night. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Snow </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Mini journals<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJDeRJ8TNB1QMSoCuyvZnlv2svHYCyHZ1iTSZv7FO2dwmWa5NPdWUH3nByKoLiRJzIhwkR2XI8X4hCdsedkPZmuMqn6T3RoiJV_cKkxRc2PlXp8s5kagawXK9dbxvAIvKUm4S4_dI0t1mN/s640/IMG_4159.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">www.etsy.com/ca/shop/SeizetheMomentCrafts </td></tr>
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<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">CDs</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Music</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">New CDs for a variety of music while driving. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Black bean brownies. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Tests to check my tummy. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Updates from immigration </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Just Right</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Just Right boxes. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Purple pens. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Online learning. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Times at work to complete progress reports. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Staff meetings. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Getting paid for staff meetings. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Snowshoes!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Big parks in the city. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Snowshoeing in the city. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Fun winter activities. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Bubble tea. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Soup. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">"Cloudy soup"</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My wife's patience with me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Finished with on more medical test. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Friendly people. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Crosswords</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for free newspaper. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for our first sale. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For locals who support locals. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The Sunrise. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Mini Journals. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Coworkers who like my journals. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">People to watch. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Improve field trips. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Warm showers. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Coming out monologues</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Supportive folk. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Diversity. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Gender diversity. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Freedom to learn.</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Freedom to be me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">So many reasons to give thanks. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for the distress line.</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Thankful for my grandparents' home. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Pottery</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Skating rinks</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Cross county skiing. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My mother. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Beautiful buildings. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">New food to try. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Dice games with students. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Not having to tutor tonight. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">New friends. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The end of semester. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Grandma jam on grandma buns. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">This year of changes and fresh starts</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I began this year by being thankful for the clean water the comes into my house. I end this year thankful for the sewer systems that take dirty water out of our houses. </span></li>
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And I could continue! I might not write down all my reasons to be thankful, but I will continue to be thankful into 2020 and beyond!yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-67600849244001229182019-12-07T21:33:00.001-07:002019-12-07T21:33:41.014-07:00From Polarisation, Hate and Fear to Community, Joy and Hope: Thankful 1928<br />
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I was encouraged by my friend's example to show real life on social media. FB has often been accused of being a platform where people present their picture perfect lives, and others feel horrible because they cannot match up.<br />Not all the posts on FB are cheery. Recently I've noticed a lot of political posts, often written from a place of despair or anger. People are worried about the economy, they are fret about job security and powerful politicians. It has been easy for me to <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">feel anxious, hopeless about my city and the economy and the future of human kindness and civilisation. </span></div>
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Polarisation, hate, fear. </div>
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Now for my real life moment. My wife and I went to a Christmas lights display at a golf course. We watched a sort of community form, of families and friends enjoying the lights. As we walked past the tobogganing hill, I heard genuine laughter. True, I don't know the challenges they face. Perhaps the man sliding down the hill with his toddler on him lap just lost his job. Perhaps the friends, each pulling a child on a sled, can't sleep at night, afraid of what the world will be when their children grow up. A couple holding hands. Perhaps they worry that they won't be able to pay their bills this month, so they decided not to put up their own lights. Each person there has struggles and challenges, but at that moment they chose to be happy. Regardless of political situations, economic slowdowns, uncertainties about the future, we can choose happiness. On a cold dark evening, light coaxed people out of their homes, rewarded them with joy and filled me with hope. If they find peace, perhaps I too can choose to enjoy life here, rather than running from the difficulties, dreaming of that stress free place that just doesn't exist. For this experience I am truly thankful.</div>
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Community, joy, hope.</div>
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yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-25168680232024387302019-12-02T10:51:00.000-07:002019-12-02T10:51:45.757-07:00That Girl Who Went to the Preston Missionary Training Centre.<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
That girl who went to the Preston MTC in England wanted to be friendly with everyone, but found herself shrinking away in groups, becoming almost invisible. She wasn’t sure if her roots could hold her, so often she hide. The girl who went to England, knew the way of the religion she was spreading, yet wasn’t sure if she believed it. She prayed to believe, she fasted and she accepted every twitch in her tummy as a declaration of truth. The girl who went to the Preston MTC was like a plant, her leaves longing for sunshine, yet she kept them in the shadows. She was gay, she knew she was gay, but she wasn’t sure what people would say if she mentioned it, so she kept it to herself. She wore skirts. That was the expectation. She offered prayers, she knew the kinds of words to say, but found it hard to be genuine when others were listening. That girl who went to the Preston MTC made the choice to believe in a male God. She chose to believe in living prophets who commanded those with same-sex attraction to stay single or marry the opposite sex. She desired to go on a mission, to teach, to serve her church, even if she knew it would mean wearing clothes that made her feel uncomfortable for a year and a half. When the girl went to the Preston MTC, she didn’t eat much. She wasn’t hungry. She knew there were vegetarian options, but rather than choose those, she avoided the meat and picked through whatever else was given her. Her tummy hurt. In the moment she was hungry, she was told she couldn’t eat. The classroom wasn’t the place. She wished to explain herself, but rather, she held back tears and submitted. Her leaves withered. One curled up and dropped off the plant. When the girl was in the Preston MTC, she flirted with the idea of coming out. She yearned for light. In front of a crowd, she proposed to a girl, but everyone knew it was a joke. She wanted people to know who she was and love her anyways. But she was told all gay and lesbian people should go live and die out on an island. She tried not to watch the other sisters change, she didn’t mean to admire the curves of their bodies, covered in white, shaped like angels. She didn’t want to be accused of being a 14 year-old boy, though she understood how they must feel. With her companion, she joked that she’d come out later. Before her companion could say a word, she carried on with the story she was telling. Her gay foliage battered the shadows, crying out to be seen. She wondered if she hid it long enough, if her gay branch would break off and die. The girl in the Preston MTC searched for truth in her religion. She was in so far that finding truth was the only answer. Though she had questions, she trusted there were solutions which she didn’t yet understand. In England, though she hated praying, her prayers were answered, signs were received, and she could believe in her message. The signs formed her witness, her testimony of truth. A testimony that she decided was more powerful than any doubt. This was the testimony she’d been hoping for. In the Preston MTC, that girl received three compliments. They breathed life into a twig of her being. If she hadn’t been insecure, perhaps they wouldn’t have mattered. The comments convinced her that she could be a fantastic missionary, that she could teach and touch hearts, and that she could share her thoughts and change lives. She clung to this encouragement, believing that she was where she needed to be.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ex-VhEomMfrRlmHGoVhlEu2Ez7b3VwplBLFuNDOGL_7Zdg9cyN2kujIVu-5G6uDIstxX8MZRGfUk75E0W9LOZFgcIH3T1szzY0te0iST7m2XGwEehNz_OsPemZYSuTybKU9nGoaBo-rA/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ex-VhEomMfrRlmHGoVhlEu2Ez7b3VwplBLFuNDOGL_7Zdg9cyN2kujIVu-5G6uDIstxX8MZRGfUk75E0W9LOZFgcIH3T1szzY0te0iST7m2XGwEehNz_OsPemZYSuTybKU9nGoaBo-rA/s400/1.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Sometimes I am ashamed to say this. At times, I long to hide my past, but I was the girl who went to the Preston MTC. Though it was more than four years ago, that was me. I have changed; I am the same. Though I’m no longer a member of a specific religion, I still pray. I try to pray out of desire, but too often it come from a place of routine and obligation. In the MTC I understood why the church told us to pray. Now I am not sure I know the reasons why I address my thoughts to an unknown being. I hope, somehow he can strengthen my limbs and branches. It has been a long time since I have fasted. When I fast next, it will be medical, so the doctors can check out my tummy. The pain is different than it was before, and while I still don’t have much of an appetite, I am not losing weight like I did in the MTC. My roots have expanded and I absorb more nutrients. I’m still gay. Some branches never die, regardless of how long we deny them. I don’t try to change my orientation anymore. In the sunlight, this branch buds and blossoms, and I realise how much it is a part of me. I married the most compassionate and understanding woman I’ve ever met. And yet, at times I am afraid. I am scared to tell people that I am married, nervous to say that I have a wife. I still fear their rejection. My leaves, however, touched by the sun refuse to stay in the shadows for long. In the MTC my teaching skills were complimented and encouraged. Now, I continue to teach, though my message is no longer faith based. I am eager to learn how to be a better teacher, but slower to accept the advice I receive. I chose to think and reason for myself. I recognise that one person’s style of teaching might not be for me, and that is okay. I continue to thrive when I am watered with praise. Perhaps it was my joy of teaching that brought me to the MTC, that sustained me there and through my time in England. I knew if I was going to teach in England, I needed to believe my message, so I forced myself to find signs of its veracity. Teaching as a missionary meant denying my gay branch, wishing it would die. It meant teaching others that homosexuality was wrong. As I continue to teach, I teach independence. It is easy for me to believe my message. Yet, I am still concerned about my students knowing I’m gay. Though my message no long dictates what people ought to do in their bedrooms, I fear losing credibility if the students knew what I did in mine. Every day when I teach, my gay branch hides in the shadows. The leaves reach for the light coming through the crack. They want the sunlight. They want to be seen. Just as the girl in the MTC hoped to one day come out, so to do I wish to live without hiding any of my branches.</div>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-47082058120372000632019-11-28T12:11:00.001-07:002019-11-28T12:11:26.309-07:001720-1927 A lot of thanks.<div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size: 12px;">I suppose today is Thanksgiving in the country just south of here. Happy thanksgiving to all. May all days be a day for thanksgiving</span></span></div>
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<ol style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for the journals we've been making. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Opportunities to be creative. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Paint</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Acrylics</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Magazines</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Consumers </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Mountains</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Beauty in nature which inspires art. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Colours. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My bank. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Safe trip to visit family. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Time with my family. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Going to the museum with some of them. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Having A trust me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Being able to comfort L in the middle of the night. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Being one of M's favourites. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Playing at the park. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Remembering playing there as a child. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Sand. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The sand creations I made when I was young. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Going for a long walk the G, L and J. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Not having any small children hit by cars. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Seeing my friend K for lunch. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Seeing my other friend K to play games. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Seeing my friends M and M. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Playing games with them. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Winning, haha. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Sharing food with them. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Chili night with Church people. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Getting to know people there. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Earning the trust of the baby. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Holding the baby. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Playing with the baby. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Eating food. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The way that babies can take away a bit of my social anxiety. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">SJ's new hair cut. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Our silly moments together. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Turtles. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Videos of turtles. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Our silly imitations of turtles. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The email saying the SJ's WP is on its way!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Friendly moments with our neighbour. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Our quick conversation about the dog's sweater. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">People willing to put up with my questions about religion. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for my class. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Their diversity. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Their unity. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Their willingness to help each other. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The textbook I have been using with them. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The warm bus on a cold day. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The cold day. I like it. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">SJ gets to have fun tonight. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The good side of FB. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Being brace enough to initiate getting together with our friends. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Friends of my mom who sent me a wedding card. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Winter gear. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Warm houses. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Warm showers. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The bad that came. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">People who make friendly conversations on the bus. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The new paint job at my school. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">SJ's work permit!!!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Getting her a SIN. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Applying for her health coverage. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for coworkers willing to share stories and experiences. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Flash cards</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Flash card apps.</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That the bus comes right after work ends. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Diversity of students. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My student O who was trying so hard. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">His desire to learn. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The way he learns. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Endurance. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My wife. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That she will soon have a Canadian phone number. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The chance she's had to heal her bone. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her amazing bone. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Doctor appointments in the near future!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Story writing. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Lessons I learned in my creative writing class. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Imagination. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Creativity in me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The creativity of others. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Shapes. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Stars. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Collaborating with my coworkers. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Soon to not be a single income family!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Low financial expectations. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Happiness that comes apart from money. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Free little libraries. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Free public libraries. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Water. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">SJ's water bottle. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Ten avocados for a dollar!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Guacamole!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Lots of guacamole!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Chips!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Salsa</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Soup</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Spicy food. (But not too spicy)</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I'm thankful for runs to the bus. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful Halloween is over!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful SJ will be able to get a bank account!</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for changing seasons. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful when humanity respects each other. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for continued revelation in the Community of Christ. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for friendly neighbours. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful that I don't have to drive to work. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For those concerned about the environment. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For chocolate chips added to my cereal. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Beautiful mornings. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Friendly person in the bus who wished me a good day. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">New paint. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I like my job. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for great Sundays. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That J could come to church. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">She enjoyed it. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">She got to talk with some people. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And that K could come to church. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I got to see him again after 10 years. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That there are Christian communities where we can be accepted. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I saw T again. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And that B introduced SJ as my wife. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That we got to hand out with B and T. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That my students passed the assessment. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For the class in general. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Trial today with giving instructions. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Making use of manipulatives. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Conversion with K after church</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful that work is done for the day. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful that my sore voice doesn't stop me from talking. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for my ten minute nap at lunch time. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Warmth</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Wind</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Inventions. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Green power house. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Urban farming. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The love of my wifey. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">People working against sex trafficking </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The increase of openly gay athletes</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Safer places for refugees</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Gay people willing to stand up as gay for the good of others. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Children who are taught to be accepting. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Allies. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful that snow is beautiful </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For an afternoon to be a receptionist. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I only had one phone call, and it was successful. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That the car didn't slip and hit me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The receptionists at our school. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Their abilities to fix problems. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Making paper houses at work today. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Happy student. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Crazy assessments.</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Computer lab at school. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My favourite volunteer. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for our staff meetings. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Our whiteboards</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Our smart boards. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My wife's creativity. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Google images. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My wife. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for the way she interacts with me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The way she holds me</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And listens to me</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And expresses her love for me. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful she will be home when I get there. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful I got to see my g and g. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That they were kind with my wife, even if they feel uncomfortable with my life choices. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Bridge. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Supper with JoCar</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My cool aunt. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her struggle. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her voice. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Her desire to do good. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Being able to see her. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for J. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For his hair. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For his willingness to cut it off. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">His desire to do good and help others. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">The many ways of doing good in this world. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Documentaries. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">People who see possibilities. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Switching up my walk. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Tutoring close to home. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for hospitals</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for doctors</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And nurses</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And healthlink</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And universal health coverage. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That SJ qualifies for that coverage now. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That we are together. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">And we don't have bed bugs. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Or a pit bull. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I am thankful for the C of JC of LDS</span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I was given opportunities there to serve. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For the friends I met there. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For the chance they have me to believe in God. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Lessons in self control. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Free climbing. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">That I was able to climb with my students. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Their willingness to go outside in the cold. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Language acquisition. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Learning how to extend invitations on my mission. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">Not fearing rejection. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">I'm thankful to have met people around the world while on my mission. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">For the ones I still keep in contact with. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 17pt;">My coworker B who helped me feel okay with being out at work. </span></li>
</ol>
yetihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11063558865333842640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2272767998060451436.post-68663960287952537732019-11-11T13:23:00.000-07:002019-11-11T13:23:01.285-07:00The Search<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
**5**</div>
<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Invite Jesus into your heart, my Sunday school teacher says. I do. Over and over again I do, but if I never feel a change, how can I know it worked? What does it feel like to have a grown, bearded man, robed in blue and white, living inside my heart? Is he wearing a crown of thorns when he enters in?</div>
<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
**11**</div>
<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Give your life to Jesus, the camp speaker says. Surrender all you are. Commit your life to him. I do. Over and over again, I pray, I read the Bible. I fast. I am baptised. What does it feel like to be dead to the natural man, alive in Christ? If I don’t feel different, am I doing it wrong?</div>
<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
**15**</div>
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I choose my story, the Christian author says, I choose what I want in my story, and I know what I don’t want. I don’t want sin. I don’t want attractions towards women. I don’t want to be gay. I make the choice solid. I commit fully to God’s plan, not my desires. I am happy, right? I may not know who I am. I write dark poetry about being alone. I think about hurting myself, a cry for attention, but surely God is attentive to me. I don’t need, nor deserve the attention of others. If God is with me, must I feel so alone?</div>
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**18**</div>
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I’ve been promised a personal relationship with God. I seek to know this being I follow. I plan to isolate myself from others. I don’t need human relationships, I need God. I imagine sitting on the floor, hiding beneath over-the-ear headphones on my first day of Bible college. I can’t afford the headphones that I imagine, so I settle for the earphones that come with the MP3 player I buy for this purpose. I sit and observe the other students. I am not here for them. I am here to know God. As the year passes, I do meet the other students, I write about the Trinity, but God never shows up. Where is he?</div>
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**19**</div>
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At Bible camp, I watch as parents show up with a cake for their son. No one knows it is my birthday too. No one celebrates me. Surely the God who formed me, who knit me together in my mother’s womb, surely he know. That ought to be enough. I can quote the scriptures, but I cry in the basement, alone. Does God see me? Can’t he send some one my way to cheer me up?</div>
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**20**</div>
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I head to Bible college again; different school, different city, new friends. I’m still seeking for that relationship with God. I still avoid getting too involved in social aspects, but I do enjoy community with my roommates. I attend a new church, but find only performance and noise. Is God in the textbooks? The hymnal? Can he really speak directly to me?</div>
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**23**</div>
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At work I share with youth this good news that I’ve been promised. There is a loving God who can help every youth overcome every challenge. God can help in all situations. In my secret thoughts I wonder why God helps some frantic wealthy woman find her car keys, when every day there are children dying of hunger in Chad. I wonder, if he doesn’t care about the children dying across the world, why would he care about my dad, dying of cancer? Why does God help others, but never me?</div>
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**24**</div>
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And why doesn’t God comfort me after my dad passes? Why do I try so hard to be righteous, but feel so alone? I’ve memorised scriptures, I’ve written papers, I’ve prayed, but it has made no difference. I wonder if I can find comfort somewhere else. I wonder if sinful living is the path to choose. Yet, as I list vices, none of them appeal much to me. I go through Christian motions, but my heart drifts from the hope it once held. God makes no difference in my life. My belief in him isn’t what makes me a good person, so why believe in him?</div>
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**25**</div>
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I’ve given up, and yet, I am drawn back by missionaries who once again promise a relational God. They are patient with my questions, sure in their answers. I want to believe. I want to believe in the hope they offer. I want to believe there is goodness and reason in the messiness of life. I desire again for evidence of this being, count every song that pops into my head as a sign. Get baptised, the missionaries say. I do. I participate in community. I accept who I am, a little bit. For the first time say the words, I’m gay. I wonder why God still wants me to marry a man. His plans seem to work great for everyone else, but are they really what is best for me? Why can’t God have a personal plan for me?</div>
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**27**</div>
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I go on a mission to put off thoughts of marriage. I go on a mission longing to connect with the spiritual, to hear God’s voice, to heed his direction. I go on a mission hoping my commitment to serve God will earn me a personal experience with him. I go on a mission believing that God, who has so often remained silent in my life, will speak into the lives of others. I learn again to hide my sexuality, to fake spirituality, to assume my thoughts are from God. I learn how dark anxiety feels. I remember how lonely I can feel in the presence of people. I don’t give up. The weight of responsibility presses on my shoulders, but I push against it. I choose to be joyful, I find life in music. At times I journey with others, at times I fight alone. Does God ever take my side, or does he just watch from the sideline? Why, after all my effort, don’t I see miracles?</div>
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**30**</div>
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I love her. I intend just to be her friend, but I love her. More importantly, she loves me. I feel that love. We could just be friends, but I know what I want. It is not the voice of my Sunday school teacher, the voice of the camp speaker, the voice of the missionaries, nor that of any other religious leader. It is a voice from within me. Our love is tangible, and I want to give my whole self to this woman. Do I love her more than I love God, my bishop asks me. Yes, and I’ve felt her love in ways I’ve never felt the love of God. We have a very personal relationship. She cares about me and validates me in ways I only hoped God would. The choice is easy. I abandon the religion which makes me choose, and we marry. Does God rejoice with me?</div>
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**31**</div>
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We don’t hate God, and we don’t hate religion, so we choose to explore churches willing to accept our relationship. Something within me always draws me back to churches. It isn’t the music nor the sermons. It isn’t the theology which I spent years studying. As I search for God, I asked, can a community be God to me? Can a church be Jesus? I had sought tirelessly for a relationship with God, but had I missed the point when I overlooked human relationships? Perhaps to feel love from God was to feel love from people. My wife and I searched for such a community until we found a place where I can believe that God is love, because it is a community of love. A place where I can believe that God cares, because they care. A place where I can believe that God accepts me, because they accept me. So, I have found the love, compassion and acceptance of God, without any certainty that there is a divine being. Perhaps I could have found this earlier, but it wasn’t what I’d been looking for. Promises of magical intervention, lofty visions, had my eyes focused away from the Christlike love of others. How can I spread this love?</div>
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