I sit in my dad’s car wearing his sunglasses and sweater and listening to his music. It doesn’t seem right. Why should I benefit from his death? When I tell people that I have my dad’s car they tell me that I am lucky. But I don’t feel lucky. I’d rather have my dad. The government is giving me $200ish a month for the next year as long as I stay in school. Again, it doesn’t seem right that I should gain from this loss. My dad can’t be paid for. It isn’t like if you give me enough then it will be okay that he is gone. He is irreplaceable.
Somehow I think there is a connection between me benefitting from my Dad’s death and me benefitting from Jesus’ death. In some ways I’d rather that they were both still around, but Jesus’ death played an important role. I don’t know that I can say the same about my dad’s.
Oh, did I mention that I got life insurance money too?