Friday 4 January 2008

I Got a Secret... I am Afraid

-I am afraid of dogs, of being bitten, chased and being chased and then bitten (or being bitten and then chased)
-I am afraid of failure, of giving my, trying hard with no results – so I am afraid of of trying, because then I might fail and have no excuse
-I am afraid of living some boring mediocre life because I am afraid to do what God has called me to do.
-I am afraid of being wrong
-I am afraid of so passionately living my dream and making a youth hang out place, and then have no one come
-I am afraid of being rich, of having too much and not wisely spending it
-I am afraid of misrepresenting God
-I am afraid of being open, especially with my passion, because what if others just don’t understand
-I am afraid of being corrected, but I am learning it can be okay
-I am afraid of planning, or being to certain about something, and then having those plans fall through
-I am afraid of not being loved, and being alone, having no one who will understand my passion, no one to encourage me. I am afraid of being the only one who cares about God’s word and the only one with passion for it. I am afraid of not having anyone with whom to share my story, my stories and myself.
-I am afraid of being insignificant
-I am afraid of only talking and never doing, and I am afraid of writing so much that I forget how to be open in real words.
-I am afraid of becoming self reliant and too often forgetting to pray.
-I am afraid of asking for too much, and taking to much, and not giving enough
-I am afraid I will misspend my money and misuse my time
-I am afraid of loosing hope
-I am afraid of being content with my Christian life, afraid I will not continue to want to know God more, and not want to pray more
-I am afraid of commitment
-I am afraid I will learn all about God without ever knowing him personally
-I am afraid of falling in love with this world
-I am afraid no one shares my values
-I am afraid I have failed
-I am afraid to share the Gospel, and more so afraid I will not share it
-I am afraid none of this is real, that my words are fake and my faith is incomplete
-I am afraid of meaningless talk and deep conversation
-I am afraid I talk too much when it doesn’t mater, and not enough when it does.
-I am afraid I am too afraid to accomplish anything
-I am afraid to drive
-I am afraid of other’s disappointment
-I am afraid to bring bad news
-I am afraid of awkward conversations
-I am afraid that my uncoolness will keep me from accomplishing anything, afraid that I rely too much on weather or not I think people like me to actually just do what I got to do. I am afraid I am too worried about what others think of me
-I am afraid of being hated
-I am afraid I am incapable of doing what I dream
-I am afraid my dream is foolish and not what God wants, but I also fear thinking that if it is not true.
-I am afraid I am too easily convinced
-I am afraid of not following my words with actions
-I am afraid I don’t pray enough
-I am afraid God won’t answer my prayers
-I am afraid of being too prideful
-I am afraid of ridicule
-I am afraid of being relied on

4 comments:

  1. I think this is brilliant.

    Because I'm afraid too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am a secret too...I am also afraid!

    I really want to come and visit you, maybe someone will be going up to E-Town sometime, and I can come and see you. =] I miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. do not fear. For He is your God. He will uphold you with His right hand. He will not let you fall. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey, you may find this interesting:
    http://www.goodnewsarticles.com/feb00-1.htm

    I myself am currently trying to correct my (or have my) perspective of God corrected. Some things in the Old Testament can scare the crap out of me, having me think that... I deserve for God to strike me down, or go to war on me. And now, I find that article above. I have a lot to think about. Fear, is not good. So if I am afraid of God, something is wrong. (sorry to share this if its to much info, or too... personal or about me. but i hope it helps)

    ReplyDelete