Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts

Wednesday, 16 June 2021

Enough Information

Chapter 1

Enough Information


In the book “Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More” published in 2008, Naish talks about televisions not SmartTVs, and mobile phones, not Smartphones.  He talks about having 123 TV channels, which is nothing compares to the 37 million and counting YouTube channels in 2021,* and that’s not to mention TikTok.  While the statistics and examples in Enough are dated, takeaways are easy to apply today.  Our species has survived and thrived because of our desire to learn; however, with easy and endless access to information, we must choose which information to seek and when to say enough to information.


Let us say I want to bake some brownies.  I have the time, basic ingredients, I just need a recipe.  I choose a search engine and search.  I get about 18 million results on google, but hopefully I choose a decent option right off the bat.  I then scroll past the story which the blogger felt was necessary to include.  I am there for the recipe, not the narrative about how grandma used to make the best brownies, full of eggs, but since becoming a vegan the blogger needed to recreate the perfect recipe.  Her multiple attempts led to a plethora of brownies filling her house, and eventually the perfect brownie, the recipe which will be our reward if we can finally get there, after reading her take on the complete agricultural history of each ingredient.  Usually there is a “jump to the recipe” button near the top, causing me to bypass the intriguing story, and leaving me with enough time to make brownies.  But, when I am not looking for a recipe, Facebook, knowing I like baking, shows me endless videos of people producing all sorts of foods, most of which I’ll never make.  Perhaps I’m not actually interested in the outcome, or else I am to busy, absorbing this information to actually do anything about it.


John Naish quotes a survey completed by the Henley Centre where 70% of people said they could never have too much information, yet over 50% recognised they had more information than they could deal with (Naish, 16).  It is easy, and easily rewarding to consume information.  Gaining information is both satisfying and comforting.  The more we intake information, the less time we have to use the information productively.  Not only does interacting with info take time, it also requires energy, hard work and delayed outcomes.  In three minutes I can watch in a video someone decorate 48 cupcakes using six unique methods.  Were I to try to create the same product, it would take me hours.  Not having the time or energy, I instead watch endless videos.  Such video and infotainment are “a pleasurable yet habit-forming, mind-altering and potentially depressing substance.”  It is cheap and overly abundant, Naish says, “It’s just like alcohol” (Naish, 38).  The difference is, we don’t get hangovers, and most people haven’t learned to set boundaries around our behaviour.  While binging on information can be enjoyable, it is critical that we have limits, that we resist forming unhealthy information indulging habits.  These habits require us to decide which information we want in our lives, which information will, in fact, be useful.  We naturally acquire information.  As Naish puts it, “We are so wired to gather information that often we no longer do anything with it”  (Naish, 26).  Information overload leaves ideas hardly comprehended, and us ever more confused. Rather than pausing, we turn instead, looking for more information.  Is this like trying to cure a hangover with a shot of whiskey?  When more information leaves us more confused, perhaps it is time to say enough.  


Constant information can also lead to stress.  Reading the covid updates over and again each day can set our hearts pounding, and have our eyes peeled wide, alert, waiting to respond to this treat.  According to Naish, “Some psychologists believe the effect [of watching news] is so strong that we should limit our news-watching to only 30 minutes a day — or risk developing anxiety-related depression” (Naish, 17).  No matter the distance of the danger, watching news can have us believing the hazard is near.  Living under constant threat is exhausting, and at some point it is easier to give in to depression.  There is a very real threat that the information we take in will cause us harm.  We must say enough information before it steals our attention from the here and now, before it robs us of our ability to care for those nearest to us.  Furthermore, the effects reach broader.  Baroness Susan Greenfield worries about the use of screens by children.  She fears they will grow up to be “a nation of gullible Googlers who won’t even know how to vote responsibly” (Naish, 40).  Yikes!  13 years later, is this where we’ve ended up?  Our information comes prepackaged, often prescribed by algorithms feeding our biases, or advertisements creating desires within us.  When it comes to voting, finding accurate information is critical.  Sorting through the information from various sources is incredibly difficult.


While the information on the internet can be particularly helpful, when, for example, I need a recipe, it is littered with advertising and clickbait.  We are easily distracted from our initial purpose.  While it is easy to be wary of advertisements which are designed to  “catch your attention and make you dissatisfied with the life that you already have” (Naish, 44), they are impossible to avoid.  We stare at ads, eager to skip them, unless they are exceptionally well crafted, but perhaps the content we seek is just as quick to leave us unsatisfied, anxious, wanting or depressed.  We must control our content input and choose, at times, to disconnect.


Among the advice Naish give to disconnect is the following.  To begin with, we can budget our time, set limits to our consumption and stick to them.  Doing is easier if we choose to “be happy about the fact that [we] are deliberately choosing to miss things, because it means that [we] have a life” (Naish, 45).  Choosing to focus on the positives of limiting our information consumption enables us to abstain joyfully and purposely.  This attitude makes it easier to say enough to information.  It requires us, however, to have a life.  As we change our habits, it is beneficial to choose a new (or neglected) hobby or two.  We can also spend the time getting to know our neighbours, a practice Naish promises “extends [our] sense of home security” (Naish, 46).  Creating and fostering relationships, and learning from those near us helps us engage in local, tangible events.  This interaction is a healthy alternative to constant information consumption.  It provides a context information we do consume and gives us a rewarding activity.  We can choose to seek information from those around us.  This can be just as satisfying.




Information is ever more abundant.  We have far more information than we can ever use. This information overload causes stress, and often influences us to make worse decisions.  Even when we intentionally seek information, we are bombarded by distractions and advertisements.   Escaping from information overload is possible, but requires intentional choice.  We must curtail our natural information seeking behaviour to pursue only that information which will benefit us.  This can be accomplished as we set personal limits, engage in offline hobbies and get to know our neighbours.








*This was the best number I could find, but I have no idea if it is accurate.  The website 

contradicted itself.  https://www.tubics.com/blog/number-of-youtube-channels/


**Naish, John. Enough : Breaking Free from the World of More. London, Hachette Livre, 2008.

Monday, 12 March 2018

Now!

While symptoms of depression and anxiety are not new in my life, I am finally realising them for what they are and deciding that it is time for a change. A great motivator has been writing a list of what “better” would look like.

What better looks like:
confidence in social interactions
church without fear or extreme discomfort
grocery shopping without feeling overwhelmed
better understanding and awareness of my feelings (recognising stress prior to feeling physical symptoms like stomachaches and headaches)
no thoughts of self harm
no negative self talk
willing to make commitments
worry doesn’t take away from my enjoyment of the present
greater awareness and acceptance of my attractions
no disproportionate reaction to touch
no dread of going to bed
motivation to wake up in the mornings
consistently care about what I care about
friendships in which I am raw
no delay of leaving/being late because of fear/discomfort about where I am going
no general aversion to food
no feelings of vulnerability when wearing a skirt
be okay with looking pretty/attractive
give worries reasonable weight/attention
hope
social interactions a delight and not a burden

Since making this list I have been more motivated to get help and get better. This morning I saw my doctor and she suggested I try some counselling to see if that helps before trying meds. Counselling, learning to change my though patterns, take time and is work. Meds also take time to work. I want to be better now. I don’t want to wait, and I don’t want to work. I crawled out of bed to go see the doctor; when I got home, I crawled right back into bed. I guess I don’t have much hope. I can’t promise myself that every aspect of better will be accomplished as I heed the words of my counsellor; improvement won’t be in an instant, but it is possible.

And yet:


If I were miraculously healed now, I’d feel like that would discredit my current feelings. The difficulty I am having in explaining this is perhaps evident that this thought process is illogical. If I instantly get better, then I will believe I was never sick. I want to be sick. I want to be sick because I want there to be a reason I am feeling as I do. I want to be sick because then there is reason to hope that better is possible. I want to be sick because if this is normal, normal is horrible. Normal isn’t worth living. If I am miraculously happy now, if I wake up as jolly as a daisy tomorrow, I’ll forget how awful I’ve felt. These feelings so present now will flutter away with the dust, and I’ll begin to believe I always was fine. If I wake up happy tomorrow I’ll decide I don’t need counselling, and certainly not medication, but these awful, horrible feelings inevitably will come back. They always do.

Friday, 31 August 2012

The Real Me


“Just bee yourself.”  I think that is from some Disney movie. 
I feel a certain amount of pressure to be myself around people, especially around those who know me.  Society teaches that we should be true to ourselves.  I think the whole of elementary curriculum these days is based around that.  I feel like I keep being told that I should be open with my friends, especially those with whom I am closest.  I had this fear today.  What if the real me isn’t beautiful.  What if no one would like the real me?  The real me is selfish and depressed.  Would anyone want to hang out with such a person?  The real me wants to be the centre of attention.  The real me will talk and talk, and you won’t find her very interesting.  What if the real me is ugly.  The real me is lazy.  The real me is unkind.  The real me is hurting, and quick to hurt others.  The real me wants you around when I want someone around, and wants you to get out of my face when I want to be alone.  The real me wants to curl up in a ball and cry, and if you won’t say a word or ask any questions I might let you come and put your arm around me, or I might get up and run away.  The real me is unpredictable.  What if no one wants to be friends with the real me?  It almost seems wrong to be the real me around other people.  I think it would be unfair to them.  I fear that people wouldn’t know how to respond to the real me.  I don’t know that the world is yet ready for the real me, or maybe the real me is not yet ready for the world.  The real me has some learning, maturing and growing to do.
But I am tired of being fake.
“How are you?”
“Good.”
But I am not good.  My insides are all hurting, but does anyone really care?  Does anyone have time to care?  Maybe first I’ll try to learn to be honest with myself, and then I’ll try to be honest with God.  After that I’ll have to decide if it is worth it to be honest with the world.
The real me is ugly, but the real me is longing for friendship.  The real me is desperate for attention.  The real me yearns for comfort and the real me is tired of hiding.  The thing is that I like having friends.  It is so much easier just to say that I am "good".

Sunday, 12 February 2012

running on empty


I am feeling pretty drained, and that it all areas of my life.
Mentally, I have a midterm on Tuesday that I haven’t studies for at all, philosophy reading I have not done and I haven’t done my linguistics reading yet either. I doubt I will get any of that done tomorrow either... uhoh.
Physically, I am tired. I have had mini naps today and yesterday, and really wish I was sleeping right now. But I have also easily tired when I’ve tried to do anything physical recently. I went for a pathetic run on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, but never far nor fast. Even playing soccer today and yesterday was painful. Yesterday I mostly just played goal, but even standing seemed to take too much effort, and today I had to force myself to run.
Emotionally, I don’t know. I am not much one for emotions. My roommate made me laugh yesterday, that was good, but I don’t think I really laughed today. I feel pretty apathetic. Like about school, I don't really care that I am getting behind.
Relationally, seems to take more effort than I want to give. I mean it hasn't been too bad, though I did get really tired writing a letter today. It is that I am hoping for more relationally. I long for some text or email that will somehow fulfil this longing. They never do. I want something more, but it never comes.
Spiritually, things aren’t great. Not at all. I got a fortune cookie the other day, and rather than just writing off the fortune, I tried to understand how I should apply it to my life. I am spiritually thirsty for direction, and a little too eager to take it from anywhere.
That’s all. I am tired. I should go to bed. I think I post this because I long for some connection with people, and thus hope that you will comment, but really, your comments might make me smile, but it won’t last, and I still be thirsting for something more.
Peace