Showing posts with label secrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label secrets. Show all posts

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

The Compound

I stole some ideas from my friend, and from a dream he had, and then I wrote this short story.  Enjoy:


The concrete walls were high and unyielding as if they were trying to keep people out, so I was surprised when I met two friendly men in white shirts with orange ties.  They looked to be barely 20, yet they were clean shaven, and presented themselves in such a way that I would have thought them to be much older.
With warmth in his eyes, the shorter one stepped forward and shook my hand “Hello and welcome.” He said with enthusiasm that could make one think we were newly acquainted long lost friends.  I was taken aback, intrigued.  I listened intently as he went on. “We are Recruiters for The Family of Purity.  I am Advisor Johnson and this is Advisor Peterson.”  With that introduction, the taller man stepped forward and shook my hand.  I wondered at what these young men, barely older than me, had accomplished to become Advisors.  I wondered what The Family of Purity really was, and if could I become part of it?
I was shocked when Advisor Peterson offered me a tour of looming compound that stood behind him.  Eagerly I took him up on the offer.  They unlocked the heavy doors to let me in.  There I saw a multitude.  Men, woman and children, all dressed alike in orange jumpsuits.  All seemingly with a task at hand, yet they stopped to greet me with a welcoming handshake and a smile.  Momentarily I noticed that I stood out.  Dressed casually in a t-shirt and shorts, it was obvious that I was not one of The Family.  I observed their interactions with each other.  Like a family they called each other by their names, or simply just brother, or sister or father. 
As I was taking this all in, and shaking the hands of those who approached me, the loneliness and emptiness of my life hit me.  Before me was family, a chance to belong and find meaning in my life.  I wondered what they would require of me, but I was willing to give almost anything.
Advisor Johnson broke into my thoughts.  “The Family of Purity exists so the all men might find happiness on this earth, and in the life to come.”  His words were a melody to my ear.  His song continued when he added “We believe that you can be happy, like the people here, if you follow simple commandments.  It is our hope that you give yourself to The Compound, because only in this Family can you find joy.”
“How can I do that?”  I shook with anticipation.
“I have The Pamphlet which you can read, and I trust as you read it that you will feel the goodness of The Compound and long to be part of it.”  As he said this he pulled a 24 page mini-book out of his pocket and handed it to me.  I was taken out of the moment as I lost myself inside the pages.  He was right.  This had to be good.  How could something with so much unity, with so much love, be anything but good?
When I was finishing the second page Advisor Peterson interrupted my thoughts.  “You’ll have plenty of time to study The Pamphlet later.  For now, come, let us show you further into the compound.”
I was torn.  I desired to continue to read the words of The Pamphlet, the words of life, but I also wanted to see more of the compound.  Slowly I found the strength to but The Pamphlet away and give the Recruiters my full attention.
I followed them in awe as I took in my surrounding.  The bright orange jumpsuits stood out against the muted walls.  As we walked towards the centre of the compound, we passed through a hallway.  On either side the grey walls were lined with men and woman in jumpsuits.  Their arms and legs were chained, bolted into the walls.
“This is a beautiful sight” Advisor Johnson said confidently to me, but I didn’t see the beauty.  These humans were chained; they were trapped.  How could anyone think the suppression of another was a beautiful thing?  Then I looked upon their faces.  They didn’t look miserable.  In fact, they were smiling, even laughing at times.  Advisor Johnson continued, “These men and women know about the evils of society, and have chosen to stay away from anything evil.  They are so committed to The Family that they are willing to give their life.  They have no desire to break free from the chains that entangle them.”
I wouldn’t have been able to believe The Advisor if I hadn’t seen the faces of The Family Members.  When I looked at the glitter in their eyes and the smile on their faces I knew that they would have it no other way.  We passed into the core of The Compound.  Here, both men and woman were in cells.  They looked out from between the bars as we passed through.  There was a solemn air about the place, and we spoke not a word as we hurried through.  Once out on the other side, Advisor Peterson explained what I had just seen.
“Those are the weakest Members of our Family.  Though they desire purity, if allowed any freedom, they fail to obtain it.  Still we love them, so we do all we can to enable them to live the purity they desire.  Inside the cells they face no temptation.  They are safe from the dangers of this world and the dangers of one’s self.” 
“This really is a family” I said amazed at how much they cared for each other.
“”Yes,” replied Advisor Johnson, “And it is a family of which we invite you to be a part.”
“What must I do?” I inquired eagerly.
“We invite you to prepare yourself to be born into the Family of Purity as soon as possible.”
“And how do I prepare?”  I was ready to do anything.
“You must show yourself that you are committed to The Plan of Purity.”  Advisor Peterson counselled “for the next week you must live to the standards of purity as are outlined in The Pamphlet.  Come with us, we will show you what we have in place to help you.”
We walked towards the exit of The Compound.  I noticed for the first time, armed guards standing at the doorway.  They were not concerning themselves with the people walking into The Compound.  They were watching those inside, and I wondered if they’d let us leave.  One of the guards took a step towards me.  I froze in terror momentarily until I saw the large smile on his face.  He offered me a handshake and introduced himself.  I walked into the blazing sun with The Recruiters.  I hadn’t remembered the sun being so hot that morning.
Along the outside of building there stretched an iron rod.  I hadn’t noticed it on my way in.  Advisor Peterson pulled out handcuffs from his pocket.
“What’s this about?” I asked.
“We want to help you to stay committed to The Plan of Purity.  We invite you to handcuff yourself to this rod so that you do not give into any temptations and, in so doing, forsake purity.  We hope that in a week’s time when we come back that we find you pure and ready to be born into our Family”
I took the cuffs and sighed deeply.  Slowly, but deliberately I attached one of the cuffs to the rod and the other to my wrist. 
“I believe you,” I told the recruiters as they went on their way.
“And we believe in you.” They replied.
Then I pulled out The Pamphlet, excited and ready to learn about The Family of Purity.

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Proverb:

today I made up a proverb. maybe it has been stated before:

A man is as rich as his friends are generous.

what do you think?

Thursday, 4 August 2011

I had a great day today

I had a great day today, and I thought you all should know about it. It started off with a great run with my roommate (oh boy, training for a triathlon). At that point I decided that I needed to take some me time to prepare for the day. I spent some time reading the Bible and in prayer. Then I headed off to my old Bible College. I debated whether it would really be a worthwhile trip. I didn’t have too much time to spend there, but it is a place I like to go where I can spend time with God without thinking that I should really be washing the dishes, or doing laundry, or sweeping, or checking my email one more time. So I headed up to the college. My theology prof was there, and I thought it would be good to have a chat with him. I stopped in his office and we had a great conversation about the Eucharist and about being the body of Christ. He confirmed a lot of thought I have recently had, and sent me on my way with a book. It was a really good and encouraging talk. Then I made my way to the LDS institute. In the last institute class I attended I really felt like I wanted to talk with the teacher, so I emailed him and we set up a time (which happened to be this morning). I wasn’t sure how our conversation would go, but in the email I had mentioned that I wanted to hear his story. I got to the institute building, and the doors were locked, which meant I had to ring the door bell, and that really scared me. A very large part of me wanted to turn and walk away, but I didn’t. I rang it, and I waited. I could see the Brother walk from the far end of the hall towards me. I think a million things went through my mind. I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. I had nothing planned. I sat down in his office as he finished off an email. I made some observations –Rugby picture –lobster trap –family photos; and said some silent prayers. “So, what do you want to know” he said breaking the silence. “Everything” I replied. And I felt like that statement was pretty true, I do want to know everything. He started from his birth and told me about his childhood, his grandparents, his experiences as a Catholic, as a born again Christian and then about how he became an LDS. He told me about how he came out west, and how he got a job with the LDS Church teaching seminary and then institute. He told me about his wife and his 6 children. And then his story concluded. He looked at me and asked about my story. “Did you grow up in the Church?” I was a little shocked by his question, but answered “I grew up going to Church, but not the LDS Church.” He was intrigued, but then I realised that more was needed to be said. I added “I am not a member.” He was shocked. He had no idea. I don’t try to trick people into thinking that I am LDS; I don’t know any Mormons with dreadlocks, but I guess it is mainly the LDS who attend institute, so it was understandable for him to think that I was a member. Then I shared parts of my story with him. I shared it much like I would share my story with kids at camp. I talked about my dad’s cancer and my parents love for Guatemala. I shared about my struggle with pride and about finding my worth in Christ. I shared about inner city mission trips and the way they have changed the direction of my life. I shared about Bible School and I shared about my decision to go to a different Church when I was in grade 11. I shared about why I moved and what I might take in school. There are a lot of things which have happened in my life. Then we started talking about the way he teaches. I admire his way of teaching so much, and he said that we should sit down and talk about it more some time. I’d like that. I didn’t think that we would talk for more than an hour, but we chatted for an hour and a half and we could have kept talking if he did not have a class to teach. He asked me where I attend church now, and when I told him that I went to a Mennonite Church he was rather surprised. As we walked down the hall to leave we talked about finding the value in different denominations even if we don’t agree with everything they believe.
I had told the girl I mentor that I would be at her house at one, but I did not leave the institute building until one and she lives far across the city. I also stopped at a gas station on the way to her house because I had to pee so bad, and while I was there I decided to buy gas and wash some of my windows. I then made a stop at Safeway, I more frequently shop at superstore, but Safeway was on the way and I have a gift card for there. I stopped to buy some fruits and veggies for the girl I mentor and her family. They lost electricity and thus lost all of the food in their fridge. I know that she will often tell me that there is no food it the fridge, but I know by that she often just means that there is nothing which she desires to eat, but when she asked for fruits and veggies, and her mom was well aware of her doing so, I know that they really did need some food. I got to the till and then remembered that I left my wallet it the car. I asked the cashier if I could run and grab it and she said that would be no problem, When I got back there was a different cashier and I was a little confused. Anyhow, I paid for my food, and completely forgot to use the gift card (good thing I will need more groceries again) and then got to her house at 1:51 Her nine year old sister greeted me and helped me put away the groceries. The girl I mentor was sleeping as she had felt kinda sick, but we woke her up to make cookies. And she came to life. After the cookie making I hung out with her little sister while she went and showered and then we went downtown to volunteer at a Centre which provides community, meals, food hampers and clothing to single moms and low income families. The girl I mentor and her mom and sister and a neighbour all came with us down there. It is great that they can volunteer and receive what they need at the same time, I think it gives dignity which is what that place is all about. They went home with food and new clothes. As I drove home (which give me a bit of time to think) I thought about how much I have come to love that family. I haven't always, but I think God has given me his love for them, and allowed me to see him in their love for eachother. That family is far from perfect. They hurt eachother, fight and yell at eachother, but in the end the love eachother, and care deeply for eachother and would do so much for eachother.
I also started thinking how it was pretty great that the place we volunteered at was able to give, and help out so much. I wondered if anyone practical would say that they should of had food storage so that when they were in need they had extra stored away, but I thought about the sharing that had taken place that night and then I got it. I couldn’t contain it. I laughed because I needed to release my heart. “That’s Christianity” I said out loud and I said it again, and again. I got it. Christianity isn’t having enough to care for one’s self, but about sharing when we have more than enough. It is about having a community to support those in need. It is about love. That is Christianity.
I think that Shane Claiborne echos the voice of the early Christians when he says that those with two coats ought to give one away, and to not give one away is like stealing from those who have none. I think if we have an extra can of food, and there are others going without, we have taken what rightfully belongs to them.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Vegan Banana Bread

In the past week I have perfected, veganised and modified this recipe to the extent where I feel like I can call it my own. I for one really like it when people share their recipes, so I thought I could share this with the world
1 ½ Cups sugar
1 ¼ Oil (or vegan margarine)
4-5 bananas mashed
¼ cup apple sauce (not going to lie, I never measure this, because measuring apple sauce is messy)
2 TBSP flax (again, I never actually measure this)
1 TSP vanilla (who really measures)
Salt
1 ½ TSP baking soda
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup white flour
1 ½ cups chocolate chips

Mix Sugar and Oil.
Add mashed bananas, flax, apple sauce and vanilla. Mix well
Add flour, baking soda and salt, mix
Fold in chocolate chips

Makes 2 loaves -grease pan (bake at 325 for a long time)
Or
18 muffins -grease muffin tin or use paper cups(bake at 365 for less time)

Enjoy!

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

My world is shattered - DC Talk lied to me...

"Boom! Burn! Bip! Yeah! Pow! Hey, ha ha.
Down with the dc Talk, d- d- down with the dc Talk
Are you down with the dc Talk,
d- d- down with the dc Talk
Pullin' out my big black book
Cause when I need a word defined that's where I look
So I move to the L's quick, fast, in a hurry
Threw on my specs, thought my vision was blurry
I looked again but to my dismay
It was black and white with no room for grey
Ya see, a big "V" stood beyond my word
And yo that's when it hit me, that luv is a verb"

So, love is a verb. That sounds right, an action word. something we should do. But today I learned that it is more than a verb. It is not so black and white. Love can be a noun... a NOUN, imagine that?!?! This changes everything!!!! I am not exactly sure how yet.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

I got a secret... I am afraid that if you know me you will not love me.

Ever since my last post I have been realising that I am afraid to be all that honest, about who I am, on this blog spot. I am afraid that then I will not be loved or accepted. Well, I hope that is not true, and I reckon I need not have that fear. If I am honest about who I am, and people do not like that then at least they are choosing not to like me for me and not some fake me. I am sure not everyone is going to like me, but that shouldn’t stop me from being myself. With that being said... who am I? How would I describe myself?
I don’t know.
But I know what’s important to me.
-Jesus
-People
-Living intentionally
-Living communally
-Living missionally
-Glimpses of that which is beyond my comprehension
-Sleeping as much as possible
-Creating
-Being active
-Eating tasty food
-The Bible
-Embracing diversity
-Living ethically
-Profound thoughts and deep conversation
-Rest
-The Earth
Well, I am sure that there are more things, but that is all that have come to my mind right now. I bothers me a little how we often define others by their occupation. I remember the point being made that we are human beings, and not human doings. Who am I? Recently I have felt rather young and childish. My desire is to shrink from all responsibilities. I long to be carefree. Unfortunately I have been rather busy. I am a people pleaser. I just want everyone to be happy. I am rebellious. I have never been fond of authority, yet I am afraid of them, and still a people pleaser. I challenge the status-quo.

Friday, 4 January 2008

I Got a Secret... I am Afraid

-I am afraid of dogs, of being bitten, chased and being chased and then bitten (or being bitten and then chased)
-I am afraid of failure, of giving my, trying hard with no results – so I am afraid of of trying, because then I might fail and have no excuse
-I am afraid of living some boring mediocre life because I am afraid to do what God has called me to do.
-I am afraid of being wrong
-I am afraid of so passionately living my dream and making a youth hang out place, and then have no one come
-I am afraid of being rich, of having too much and not wisely spending it
-I am afraid of misrepresenting God
-I am afraid of being open, especially with my passion, because what if others just don’t understand
-I am afraid of being corrected, but I am learning it can be okay
-I am afraid of planning, or being to certain about something, and then having those plans fall through
-I am afraid of not being loved, and being alone, having no one who will understand my passion, no one to encourage me. I am afraid of being the only one who cares about God’s word and the only one with passion for it. I am afraid of not having anyone with whom to share my story, my stories and myself.
-I am afraid of being insignificant
-I am afraid of only talking and never doing, and I am afraid of writing so much that I forget how to be open in real words.
-I am afraid of becoming self reliant and too often forgetting to pray.
-I am afraid of asking for too much, and taking to much, and not giving enough
-I am afraid I will misspend my money and misuse my time
-I am afraid of loosing hope
-I am afraid of being content with my Christian life, afraid I will not continue to want to know God more, and not want to pray more
-I am afraid of commitment
-I am afraid I will learn all about God without ever knowing him personally
-I am afraid of falling in love with this world
-I am afraid no one shares my values
-I am afraid I have failed
-I am afraid to share the Gospel, and more so afraid I will not share it
-I am afraid none of this is real, that my words are fake and my faith is incomplete
-I am afraid of meaningless talk and deep conversation
-I am afraid I talk too much when it doesn’t mater, and not enough when it does.
-I am afraid I am too afraid to accomplish anything
-I am afraid to drive
-I am afraid of other’s disappointment
-I am afraid to bring bad news
-I am afraid of awkward conversations
-I am afraid that my uncoolness will keep me from accomplishing anything, afraid that I rely too much on weather or not I think people like me to actually just do what I got to do. I am afraid I am too worried about what others think of me
-I am afraid of being hated
-I am afraid I am incapable of doing what I dream
-I am afraid my dream is foolish and not what God wants, but I also fear thinking that if it is not true.
-I am afraid I am too easily convinced
-I am afraid of not following my words with actions
-I am afraid I don’t pray enough
-I am afraid God won’t answer my prayers
-I am afraid of being too prideful
-I am afraid of ridicule
-I am afraid of being relied on