Saturday 23 May 2020

Calgary's Proposed Ban on Conversion Therapy

These are the thoughts I sent in regarding Calgary's proposed bylaw to ban conversion therapy:

I was denied conversion therapy.

I wanted to change, and while I thought I might always be a lesbian, I was yet determined to marry a man and have kids, the traditional family. Whether or not this possibility had been explicitly taught in my faith, I had learned it, and I believed in it. I chose a counsellor of my faith, convinced he could help me to this end. Bearing fear and shame, I approached him. I read to him the goals I’d written and asked him, if not to change my orientation, to help me date boys and to lessen my attraction to women. He listened without judgment, sought to better understand me, confirmed my wishes and began by helping me realize my anxieties. I learned a lot of useful strategies, but got impatient, wondering when he would teach me how to like boys. At some point I had to realize that he didn’t believe in the outdated practice of conversion therapy. He refused to give me hope that I could happily marry a boy. He wouldn’t lead me where it was impossible to go. I stopped seeing him when I moved away. My money spent on counselling didn’t lead to a single date with a boy. But, the time I spent in counselling gave me courage to face the fear of accepting myself. I learned to deal with social anxiety. While I don’t know my counsellors personal beliefs, he followed the guidelines of counselling communities and years of research. I’m grateful that he didn’t hinder my personal development, but let me begin to explore my sexual nature in a non-judgmental environment of faith.

I support the bylaw to ban conversion therapy.