Thankful to the end of the year 1929-oops a few too many.

1. Thankful for free climbing wall. 
2. Glad I could go there with SJ and our friend A. 
3. Thankful for my wife's hard work. 
4. And her parents
5. Grateful to help make piñatas. 
6. And for ice cream
7. And for my colonoscopy tomorrow. I don't think it will be fun, but it will be nice to know if everything is okay. 
8. Grateful to be able to process some of my time as a missionary. 
9. Grateful for my companion B in the MTC 
10. I'm glad I felt comfortable with her. 
11. And for the other sisters in our room. 
12. I am grateful for the teachers. 
13. I appreciate their enthusiasm. 
14. I am grateful I was able to learn teaching skills. 
15. That I learned to teach people, not just lessons. 
16. That I was able to gain some teaching confidence at the MTC. 
17. That I am still able to teach. 
18. Lights. 
19. The darkness that makes the lights even prettier. 
20. Inspiration on the bus. 
21. Beautiful sunset tonight. 
22. Black Friday is over!
23. My mom. 
24. Her willingness to pick me up tomorrow. 
25. Her health advice. 
26. Nova Scotia. 
27. Beautiful places in Canada. 
28. Pictures of my dad. 
29. Charades. 
30. Friends who like to play games. 
31. A push for green energy. 
32. Inspirational young people. 
33. I am thankful for garbage presentations. 
34. Inspiration to care for the earth. 
35. Christmas lights at night. 
36. Snow 
37. Mini journals

    

    www.etsy.com/ca/shop/SeizetheMomentCrafts 

38. CDs
39. Music
40. New CDs for a variety of music while driving. 
41. Black bean brownies. 
42. Tests to check my tummy. 
43. Updates from immigration 
44. Just Right
45. Just Right boxes. 
46. Purple pens. 
47. Online learning. 
48. Times at work to complete progress reports. 
49. Staff meetings. 
50. Getting paid for staff meetings. 
51. Snowshoes!
52. Big parks in the city. 
53. Snowshoeing in the city. 
54. Fun winter activities. 
55. Bubble tea. 
56. Soup. 
57. "Cloudy soup"
58. My wife's patience with me. 
59. Finished with on more medical test. 
60. Friendly people. 
61. Crosswords
62. I am thankful for free newspaper. 
63. I am thankful for our first sale. 
64. For locals who support locals. 
65. The Sunrise. 
66. Mini Journals. 
67. Coworkers who like my journals. 
68. People to watch. 
69. Improve field trips. 
70. Warm showers. 
71. Coming out monologues
72. Supportive folk. 
73. Diversity. 
74. Gender diversity. 
75. Freedom to learn.
76. Freedom to be me. 
77. So many reasons to give thanks. 
78. I am thankful for the distress line.
79. Thankful for my grandparents' home. 
80. Pottery
81. Skating rinks
82. Cross county skiing. 
83. My mother. 
84. Beautiful buildings. 
85. New food to try. 
86. Dice games with students. 
87. Not having to tutor tonight. 
88. New friends. 
89. The end of semester. 
90. Grandma jam on grandma buns. 
91. This year of changes and fresh starts
92. I began this year by being thankful for the clean water the comes into my house. I end this year thankful for the sewer systems that take dirty water out of our houses. 

And I could continue!  I might not write down all my reasons to be thankful, but I will continue to be thankful into 2020 and beyond!

From Polarisation, Hate and Fear to Community, Joy and Hope: Thankful 1928

I was encouraged by my friend's example to show real life on social media. FB has often been accused of being a platform where people present their picture perfect lives, and others feel horrible because they cannot match up.
Not all the posts on FB are cheery. Recently I've noticed a lot of political posts, often written from a place of despair or anger. People are worried about the economy, they are fret about job security and powerful politicians. It has been easy for me to feel anxious, hopeless about my city and the economy and the future of human kindness and civilisation. 

Polarisation, hate, fear. 

Now for my real life moment. My wife and I went to a Christmas lights display at a golf course. We watched a sort of community form, of families and friends enjoying the lights. As we walked past the tobogganing hill, I heard genuine laughter. True, I don't know the challenges they face. Perhaps the man sliding down the hill with his toddler on him lap just lost his job. Perhaps the friends, each pulling a child on a sled, can't sleep at night, afraid of what the world will be when their children grow up. A couple holding hands. Perhaps they worry that they won't be able to pay their bills this month, so they decided not to put up their own lights. Each person there has struggles and challenges, but at that moment they chose to be happy. Regardless of political situations, economic slowdowns, uncertainties about the future, we can choose happiness. On a cold dark evening, light coaxed people out of their homes, rewarded them with joy and filled me with hope. If they find peace, perhaps I too can choose to enjoy life here, rather than running from the difficulties, dreaming of that stress free place that just doesn't exist. For this experience I am truly thankful.

Community, joy, hope.

That Girl Who Went to the Preston Missionary Training Centre.

That girl who went to the Preston MTC in England wanted to be friendly with everyone, but found herself shrinking away in groups, becoming almost invisible. She wasn’t sure if her roots could hold her, so often she hide. The girl who went to England, knew the way of the religion she was spreading, yet wasn’t sure if she believed it. She prayed to believe, she fasted and she accepted every twitch in her tummy as a declaration of truth. The girl who went to the Preston MTC was like a plant, her leaves longing for sunshine, yet she kept them in the shadows. She was gay, she knew she was gay, but she wasn’t sure what people would say if she mentioned it, so she kept it to herself. She wore skirts. That was the expectation. She offered prayers, she knew the kinds of words to say, but found it hard to be genuine when others were listening. That girl who went to the Preston MTC made the choice to believe in a male God. She chose to believe in living prophets who commanded those with same-sex attraction to stay single or marry the opposite sex. She desired to go on a mission, to teach, to serve her church, even if she knew it would mean wearing clothes that made her feel uncomfortable for a year and a half. When the girl went to the Preston MTC, she didn’t eat much. She wasn’t hungry. She knew there were vegetarian options, but rather than choose those, she avoided the meat and picked through whatever else was given her. Her tummy hurt. In the moment she was hungry, she was told she couldn’t eat. The classroom wasn’t the place. She wished to explain herself, but rather, she held back tears and submitted. Her leaves withered. One curled up and dropped off the plant. When the girl was in the Preston MTC, she flirted with the idea of coming out. She yearned for light. In front of a crowd, she proposed to a girl, but everyone knew it was a joke. She wanted people to know who she was and love her anyways. But she was told all gay and lesbian people should go live and die out on an island. She tried not to watch the other sisters change, she didn’t mean to admire the curves of their bodies, covered in white, shaped like angels. She didn’t want to be accused of being a 14 year-old boy, though she understood how they must feel. With her companion, she joked that she’d come out later. Before her companion could say a word, she carried on with the story she was telling. Her gay foliage battered the shadows, crying out to be seen. She wondered if she hid it long enough, if her gay branch would break off and die. The girl in the Preston MTC searched for truth in her religion. She was in so far that finding truth was the only answer. Though she had questions, she trusted there were solutions which she didn’t yet understand. In England, though she hated praying, her prayers were answered, signs were received, and she could believe in her message. The signs formed her witness, her testimony of truth. A testimony that she decided was more powerful than any doubt. This was the testimony she’d been hoping for. In the Preston MTC, that girl received three compliments. They breathed life into a twig of her being. If she hadn’t been insecure, perhaps they wouldn’t have mattered. The comments convinced her that she could be a fantastic missionary, that she could teach and touch hearts, and that she could share her thoughts and change lives. She clung to this encouragement, believing that she was where she needed to be.

Sometimes I am ashamed to say this. At times, I long to hide my past, but I was the girl who went to the Preston MTC. Though it was more than four years ago, that was me. I have changed; I am the same. Though I’m no longer a member of a specific religion, I still pray. I try to pray out of desire, but too often it come from a place of routine and obligation. In the MTC I understood why the church told us to pray. Now I am not sure I know the reasons why I address my thoughts to an unknown being. I hope, somehow he can strengthen my limbs and branches. It has been a long time since I have fasted. When I fast next, it will be medical, so the doctors can check out my tummy. The pain is different than it was before, and while I still don’t have much of an appetite, I am not losing weight like I did in the MTC. My roots have expanded and I absorb more nutrients. I’m still gay. Some branches never die, regardless of how long we deny them. I don’t try to change my orientation anymore. In the sunlight, this branch buds and blossoms, and I realise how much it is a part of me. I married the most compassionate and understanding woman I’ve ever met. And yet, at times I am afraid. I am scared to tell people that I am married, nervous to say that I have a wife. I still fear their rejection. My leaves, however, touched by the sun refuse to stay in the shadows for long. In the MTC my teaching skills were complimented and encouraged. Now, I continue to teach, though my message is no longer faith based. I am eager to learn how to be a better teacher, but slower to accept the advice I receive. I chose to think and reason for myself. I recognise that one person’s style of teaching might not be for me, and that is okay. I continue to thrive when I am watered with praise. Perhaps it was my joy of teaching that brought me to the MTC, that sustained me there and through my time in England. I knew if I was going to teach in England, I needed to believe my message, so I forced myself to find signs of its veracity. Teaching as a missionary meant denying my gay branch, wishing it would die. It meant teaching others that homosexuality was wrong. As I continue to teach, I teach independence. It is easy for me to believe my message. Yet, I am still concerned about my students knowing I’m gay. Though my message no long dictates what people ought to do in their bedrooms, I fear losing credibility if the students knew what I did in mine. Every day when I teach, my gay branch hides in the shadows. The leaves reach for the light coming through the crack. They want the sunlight. They want to be seen. Just as the girl in the MTC hoped to one day come out, so to do I wish to live without hiding any of my branches.

1720-1927 A lot of thanks.

I suppose today is Thanksgiving in the country just south of here.  Happy thanksgiving to all.  May all days be a day for thanksgiving

1. I am thankful for the journals we've been making. 
2. Opportunities to be creative. 
3. Paint
4. Acrylics
5. Magazines
6. Consumers 
7. Mountains
8. Beauty in nature which inspires art. 
9. Colours. 
10. My bank. 
11. Safe trip to visit family. 
12. Time with my family. 
13. Going to the museum with some of them. 
14. Having A trust me. 
15. Being able to comfort L in the middle of the night. 
16. Being one of M's favourites. 
17. Playing at the park. 
18. Remembering playing there as a child. 
19. Sand. 
20. The sand creations I made when I was young. 
21. Going for a long walk the G, L and J. 
22. Not having any small children hit by cars. 
23. Seeing my friend K for lunch. 
24. Seeing my other friend K to play games. 
25. Seeing my friends M and M. 
26. Playing games with them. 
27. Winning, haha. 
28. Sharing food with them. 
29. Chili night with Church people. 
30. Getting to know people there. 
31. Earning the trust of the baby. 
32. Holding the baby. 
33. Playing with the baby. 
34. Eating food. 
35. The way that babies can take away a bit of my social anxiety. 
36. SJ's new hair cut. 
37. Our silly moments together. 
38. Turtles. 
39. Videos of turtles. 
40. Our silly imitations of turtles. 
41. The email saying the SJ's WP is on its way!
42. Friendly moments with our neighbour. 
43. Our quick conversation about the dog's sweater. 
44. People willing to put up with my questions about religion. 
45. I am thankful for my class. 
46. Their diversity. 
47. Their unity. 
48. Their willingness to help each other. 
49. The textbook I have been using with them. 
50. The warm bus on a cold day. 
51. The cold day. I like it. 
52. SJ gets to have fun tonight. 
53. The good side of FB. 
54. Being brace enough to initiate getting together with our friends. 
55. Friends of my mom who sent me a wedding card. 
56. Winter gear. 
57. Warm houses. 
58. Warm showers. 
59. The bad that came. 
60. People who make friendly conversations on the bus. 
61. The new paint job at my school. 
62. SJ's work permit!!!
63. Getting her a SIN. 
64. Applying for her health coverage. 
65. I am thankful for coworkers willing to share stories and experiences. 
66. Flash cards
67. Flash card apps.
68. That the bus comes right after work ends. 
69. Diversity of students. 
70. My student O who was trying so hard. 
71. His desire to learn. 
72. The way he learns. 
73. Endurance. 
74. My wife. 
75. That she will soon have a Canadian phone number. 
76. The chance she's had to heal her bone. 
77. Her amazing bone. 
78. Doctor appointments in the near future!
79. Story writing. 
80. Lessons I learned in my creative writing class. 
81. Imagination. 
82. Creativity in me. 
83. The creativity of others. 
84. Shapes. 
85. Stars. 
86. Collaborating with my coworkers. 
87. Soon to not be a single income family!
88. Low financial expectations. 
89. Happiness that comes apart from money. 
90. Free little libraries. 
91. Free public libraries. 
92. Water. 
93. SJ's water bottle. 
94. Ten avocados for a dollar!
95. Guacamole!
96. Lots of guacamole!
97. Chips!
98. Salsa
99. Soup
100. Spicy food. (But not too spicy)
101. I'm thankful for runs to the bus. 
102. I am thankful Halloween is over!
103. I am thankful SJ will be able to get a bank account!
104. I am thankful for changing seasons.  
105. I am thankful when humanity respects each other. 
106. I am thankful for continued revelation in the Community of Christ. 
107. I am thankful for friendly neighbours. 
108. I am thankful that I don't have to drive to work. 
109. For those concerned about the environment. 
110. For chocolate chips added to my cereal. 
111. Beautiful mornings. 
112. Friendly person in the bus who wished me a good day. 
113. New paint. 
114. I like my job. 
115. I am thankful for great Sundays. 
116. That J could come to church. 
117. She enjoyed it. 
118. She got to talk with some people. 
119. And that K could come to church. 
120. That I got to see him again after 10 years. 
121. That there are Christian communities where we can be accepted. 
122. That I saw T again. 
123. And that B introduced SJ as my wife. 
124. That we got to hand out with B and T. 
125. That my students passed the assessment. 
126. For the class in general. 
127. Trial today with giving instructions. 
128. Making use of manipulatives. 
129. Conversion with K after church
130. I am thankful that work is done for the day. 
131. I am thankful that my sore voice doesn't stop me from talking. 
132. I am thankful for my ten minute nap at lunch time. 
133. Warmth
134. Wind
135. Inventions. 
136. Green power house. 
137. Urban farming. 
138. The love of my wifey. 
139. People working against sex trafficking 
140. The increase of openly gay athletes
141. Safer places for refugees
142. Gay people willing to stand up as gay for the good of others. 
143. Children who are taught to be accepting. 
144. Allies. 
145. I am thankful that snow is beautiful 
146. For an afternoon to be a receptionist. 
147. That I only had one phone call, and it was successful. 
148. That the car didn't slip and hit me. 
149. The receptionists at our school. 
150. Their abilities to fix problems. 
151. Making paper houses at work today. 
152. Happy student. 
153. Crazy assessments.
154. Computer lab at school. 
155. My favourite volunteer. 
156. I am thankful for our staff meetings. 
157. Our whiteboards
158. Our smart boards. 
159. My wife's creativity. 
160. Google images. 
161. My wife. 
162. I am thankful for the way she interacts with me. 
163. The way she holds me
164. And listens to me
165. And expresses her love for me. 
166. I am thankful she will be home when I get there. 
167. I am thankful I got to see my g and g. 
168. That they were kind with my wife, even if they feel uncomfortable with my life choices. 
169. Bridge. 
170. Supper with JoCar
171. My cool aunt. 
172. Her struggle. 
173. Her voice. 
174. Her desire to do good. 
175. Being able to see her. 
176. I am thankful for J. 
177. For his hair. 
178. For his willingness to cut it off. 
179. His desire to do good and help others. 
180. The many ways of doing good in this world. 
181. Documentaries. 
182. People who see possibilities. 
183. Switching up my walk. 
184. Tutoring close to home. 
185. I am thankful for hospitals
186. I am thankful for doctors
187. And nurses
188. And healthlink
189. And universal health coverage. 
190. That SJ qualifies for that coverage now. 
191. That we are together. 
192. And we don't have bed bugs. 
193. Or a pit bull. 
194. I am thankful for the C of JC of LDS
195. That I was given opportunities there to serve. 
196. For the friends I met there. 
197. For the chance they have me to believe in God. 
198. Lessons in self control. 
199. Free climbing. 
200. That I was able to climb with my students. 
201. Their willingness to go outside in the cold. 
202. Language acquisition. 
203. Learning how to extend invitations on my mission. 
204. Not fearing rejection. 
205. I'm thankful to have met people around the world while on my mission. 
206. For the ones I still keep in contact with. 
207. My coworker B who helped me feel okay with being out at work. 

The Search

**5**

Invite Jesus into your heart, my Sunday school teacher says. I do. Over and over again I do, but if I never feel a change, how can I know it worked? What does it feel like to have a grown, bearded man, robed in blue and white, living inside my heart? Is he wearing a crown of thorns when he enters in?

**11**

Give your life to Jesus, the camp speaker says. Surrender all you are. Commit your life to him. I do. Over and over again, I pray, I read the Bible. I fast. I am baptised. What does it feel like to be dead to the natural man, alive in Christ? If I don’t feel different, am I doing it wrong?

**15**

I choose my story, the Christian author says, I choose what I want in my story, and I know what I don’t want. I don’t want sin. I don’t want attractions towards women. I don’t want to be gay. I make the choice solid. I commit fully to God’s plan, not my desires. I am happy, right? I may not know who I am. I write dark poetry about being alone. I think about hurting myself, a cry for attention, but surely God is attentive to me. I don’t need, nor deserve the attention of others. If God is with me, must I feel so alone?

**18**

I’ve been promised a personal relationship with God. I seek to know this being I follow. I plan to isolate myself from others. I don’t need human relationships, I need God. I imagine sitting on the floor, hiding beneath over-the-ear headphones on my first day of Bible college. I can’t afford the headphones that I imagine, so I settle for the earphones that come with the MP3 player I buy for this purpose. I sit and observe the other students. I am not here for them. I am here to know God. As the year passes, I do meet the other students, I write about the Trinity, but God never shows up. Where is he?

**19**

At Bible camp, I watch as parents show up with a cake for their son. No one knows it is my birthday too. No one celebrates me. Surely the God who formed me, who knit me together in my mother’s womb, surely he know. That ought to be enough. I can quote the scriptures, but I cry in the basement, alone. Does God see me? Can’t he send some one my way to cheer me up?

**20**

I head to Bible college again; different school, different city, new friends. I’m still seeking for that relationship with God. I still avoid getting too involved in social aspects, but I do enjoy community with my roommates. I attend a new church, but find only performance and noise. Is God in the textbooks? The hymnal? Can he really speak directly to me?

**23**

At work I share with youth this good news that I’ve been promised. There is a loving God who can help every youth overcome every challenge. God can help in all situations. In my secret thoughts I wonder why God helps some frantic wealthy woman find her car keys, when every day there are children dying of hunger in Chad. I wonder, if he doesn’t care about the children dying across the world, why would he care about my dad, dying of cancer? Why does God help others, but never me?

**24**

And why doesn’t God comfort me after my dad passes? Why do I try so hard to be righteous, but feel so alone? I’ve memorised scriptures, I’ve written papers, I’ve prayed, but it has made no difference. I wonder if I can find comfort somewhere else. I wonder if sinful living is the path to choose. Yet, as I list vices, none of them appeal much to me. I go through Christian motions, but my heart drifts from the hope it once held. God makes no difference in my life. My belief in him isn’t what makes me a good person, so why believe in him?

**25**

I’ve given up, and yet, I am drawn back by missionaries who once again promise a relational God. They are patient with my questions, sure in their answers. I want to believe. I want to believe in the hope they offer. I want to believe there is goodness and reason in the messiness of life. I desire again for evidence of this being, count every song that pops into my head as a sign. Get baptised, the missionaries say. I do. I participate in community. I accept who I am, a little bit. For the first time say the words, I’m gay. I wonder why God still wants me to marry a man. His plans seem to work great for everyone else, but are they really what is best for me? Why can’t God have a personal plan for me?

**27**

I go on a mission to put off thoughts of marriage. I go on a mission longing to connect with the spiritual, to hear God’s voice, to heed his direction. I go on a mission hoping my commitment to serve God will earn me a personal experience with him. I go on a mission believing that God, who has so often remained silent in my life, will speak into the lives of others. I learn again to hide my sexuality, to fake spirituality, to assume my thoughts are from God. I learn how dark anxiety feels. I remember how lonely I can feel in the presence of people. I don’t give up. The weight of responsibility presses on my shoulders, but I push against it. I choose to be joyful, I find life in music. At times I journey with others, at times I fight alone. Does God ever take my side, or does he just watch from the sideline? Why, after all my effort, don’t I see miracles?

**30**

I love her. I intend just to be her friend, but I love her. More importantly, she loves me. I feel that love. We could just be friends, but I know what I want. It is not the voice of my Sunday school teacher, the voice of the camp speaker, the voice of the missionaries, nor that of any other religious leader. It is a voice from within me. Our love is tangible, and I want to give my whole self to this woman. Do I love her more than I love God, my bishop asks me. Yes, and I’ve felt her love in ways I’ve never felt the love of God. We have a very personal relationship. She cares about me and validates me in ways I only hoped God would. The choice is easy. I abandon the religion which makes me choose, and we marry. Does God rejoice with me?

**31**

We don’t hate God, and we don’t hate religion, so we choose to explore churches willing to accept our relationship. Something within me always draws me back to churches. It isn’t the music nor the sermons. It isn’t the theology which I spent years studying. As I search for God, I asked, can a community be God to me? Can a church be Jesus? I had sought tirelessly for a relationship with God, but had I missed the point when I overlooked human relationships? Perhaps to feel love from God was to feel love from people. My wife and I searched for such a community until we found a place where I can believe that God is love, because it is a community of love. A place where I can believe that God cares, because they care. A place where I can believe that God accepts me, because they accept me. So, I have found the love, compassion and acceptance of God, without any certainty that there is a divine being. Perhaps I could have found this earlier, but it wasn’t what I’d been looking for. Promises of magical intervention, lofty visions, had my eyes focused away from the Christlike love of others. How can I spread this love?

Thankful now and always 1520-1719

1. I am thankful for all my friends and all of SJ's friends. 
2. For A who set up for the surprise party. 
3. For M and M who where there on time and helped. 
4. For T and B who came. 
5. For their help in the kitchen. 
6. And icing the cake
7. And washing dishes. 
8. For K and L and that they were able to come. 
9. For K and M
10. And the ice cream they brought. 
11. And playing games with everyone. 
12. That G and little J were able to come. 
13. Spanish time. 
14. That D could come. 
15. It was good to see her again after so long. 
16. That I could make a key. 
17. I am thankful I can trust my neighbours. 
18. That the surprise was a surprise. 
19. People at church who sang happy birthday. 
20. Open and accepting congregation. 
21. I am thankful for opportunities I have to speak openly and honestly about my experiences with church because I am trying to sort through them. 
22. Sushi 
23. Sushi places with free pocky 
24. And good customer service. 
25. And being there with A and A. 
26. And singing kids songs. 
27. SJ's smile
28. Her laughter. 
29. Her playfulness. 
30. Being able to help our neighbours. 
31. Learning to be okay with questions. 
32. Money from subbing. 
33. Snow. 
34. Happy students. 
35. A seat on the full bus. 
36. A car that drives. 
37. My mom's acceptance of SJ. 
38. The way SJ encourages me to be open. 
39. I am thankful for naps. 
40. For teacher resources. 
41. For ideas for teaching vocabulary. 
42. For a desire to practice Spanish vocabulary. 
43. SJ's mom's acceptance of me. 
44. Some days are better than other days. I am thankful for the better days. They give hope. 
45. I am thankful for the more difficult days which help us appreciate the good days. 
46. Yoga at night. 
47. And in the morning. 
48. Having free counselling. 
49. Forty as a symbolic number in the Bible.
50. 3, 4, 7 and 12 as other biblically symbolic numbers. 
51. The luxury to intellectualize faith. 
52. The challenge to make faith part of my daily reality. 
53. Involvement in our families. 
54. Talk with P. 
55. His lived experience with community and faith. 
56. The family's willingness to hire me as a tutor. 
57. Three cute and adorable children. 
58. Curious George.  
59. Monkey books. 
60. Creative ways for teaching. 
61. The internet.
62. Online resources. 
63. That we got our wedding cake safe. 
64. Indoor plumbing. 
65. Heated houses. 
66. Heated workplace. 
67. Extra hours for work. 
68. Almost home!
69. I am thankful for thanksgiving. 
70. And excuses to see my family
71. And same travels to the mountains
72. The big sister mountain
73. Hiking up it with my dad, even if it too two attempts. 
74. The middle sister mountain. 
75. Hiking up it with my sisters. 
76. The way they encouraged me to continue. 
77. That I made it to the top, even though I was tired. 
78. For the little sister mountain. 
79. Hiking up it with T and my sister. 
80. Making it the second time. 
81. Chances to climb with ropes 
82. And to belay myself down. 
83. The three sister mountains and me and my two sisters. 
84. Always feeling a special connection with those mountains. 
85. Playing Spanglish boggle.
86. Grotto mountain. 
87. That I got to hike up it with B. 
88. Thankful I got to see it today covered with snow. 
89. My. Lady McDonald. 
90. The way it works as a compass for me. 
91. That I can always see the A in it. 
92. BAM. 
93. Ha Ling Peak. 
94. Attempts of society to respect all people. 
95. The many times I have hiked up there. 
96. Hiking up with M. 
97. Hiking up with my family. 
98. And with youth kids. 
99. And K. 
100. And camp people. 
101. And C and J when it was late and we were locked out of the condo. 
102. The amazing stars we saw. 
103. The reflection of the stars in the water. 
104. The flashlight 
105. Electric lighting. 
106. My. Lawerence Grassi
107. Hiking up there with E. 
108. making it to the top. 
109. Ship's Prow. 
110. My first attempt with SJ. 
111. Falling in love with her there. 
112. All those happy feelings. 
113. We got lost. 
114. She was determined. 
115. She hiked straight up hill with me. 
116. That neither of us are straight. 
117. My second attempt with M
118. Successfully finding the way up. 
119. Making it to the top. 
120. Mt. Rundle. 
121. Hiking up EEOR and my first solo hike. 
122. Sliding down in the snow. 
123. Hiking up there with my mom and sister. 
124. And hiking up there with SJ. 
125. And Cascade Mountain. 
126. Every time I get to see it. 
127. How beautiful it is. 
128. Cascade ponds
129. Cascade falls. 
130. Climbing up by the falls with my dad as a kid. 
131. Making my goal of hiking to the top of Cascade with my friend C. 
132. Experiencing it together. 
133. Being able to encourage her. 
134. The mountain goat who was also near the summit. 
135. Safety in all my hiking adventures. 
136. Pigeon mountain. 
137. Solo hiking up pigeon mountain....  was that my first solo hike?
138. Having a conversation with God as I ran down, trying to get down before dark. 
139. How the view from the top was remarkable. 
140. It looked like gold.
141. Singing as I ran down. 
142. Having a car to drive me there. 
143. Hiking up pigeon mountain a second time with my friend C. 
144. Being able to make it again to the top. 
145. That SJ takes lots of pictures of lots of mountains. 
146. For Grassi Lakes. 
147. That it is fairly accessible. 
148. Being able to go up there with SJ on our first trip to the mountains. 
149. Beautifully coloured water. 
150. The feeling I had when I was there with her, that we are so small. 
151. Other times I have hiked up Grassi. 
152. When I went there with G. 
153. The times I have been there with my family. 
154. I am thankful for the ink pots. 
155. And the sunrise this morning. 
156. I am thankful for beautiful nature. 
157. For texting my friend K. 
158. Her thoughts and perspectives on life. 
159. Her strong faith in God. 
160. People who can have a faith in God.
161. Gay people. 
162. Gay people who are okay with being gay. 
163. Library books. 
164. Thankful that SJ understands when I am tired. 
165. Thankful for our new mattress. 
166. IKEA. 
167. Balloons 
168. Licorice. 
169. The many many books at the library. 
170. Spanish books. 
171. Learning Spanish little by little. 
172. My friend A and how she encourages Spanish learning. 
173. Thankful for interesting dreams. 
174. For my job teaching English. 
175. For all I have learned about the English language. 
176. Silly English rules. 
177. Silly English words. 
178. The craziness of English. 
179. My toes
180. SJ's toes. 
181. My nose. 
182. SJ's nose
183. My big feet. 
184. SJ's beautiful feet. 
185. My joints. 
186. SJ's healing ankle. It is improving every day. 
187. The physiotherapist. 
188. Cheese. 
189. Blankets. 
190. My eyes. 
191. SJ's brown eyes. 
192. All of my body. 
193. All of SJ's body. 
194. When our bodies are close. 
195. Lots of chances to go swimming recently. 
196. Hot tubs. 
197. Yummy food. 
198. Carrots. 
199. Grapes. 
200. Food from Lebanon that was shared with me yesterday. 

1401-1519 The year passes by in thanks.

1. I am thankful for multiculturalism. 
2. For various views on life. 
3. For the energy I had for subbing. 
4. My supportive wife. 
5. Our plan to tackle my depression. 
6. Eavesdropping. 
7. Neighbours who control their big dogs. 
8. Thankful for the old friends I saw today. 
9. Thankful I could introduce SJ as my wife. 
10. Thankful for plates
11. Bowls
12. Cups
13. Forks
14. Spoons
15. Knives. 
16. New cutlery. 
17. Pots. 
18. Shiny sharp knives. 
19. My wife's organizational skills. 
20. My intestines. 
21. Babies. 
22. My friend K. 
23. Her gentleness and kindheartedness. 
24. New friends at the church we've been attending. 
25. Pictures on our walls. 
26. People at church who like tomato plants. 
27. And the ones who relate to broken ankles. 
28. That I got to see me friend R today. That was exciting!
29. People who strive to be like and think like Christ. 
30. I'm thankful that my wife is willing to try new things. 
31. The skills I can teach her. 
32. The way she encourages me to be my best. 
33. Thankful for a warm September. 
34. Thankful there hasn't been frost yet. 
35. My tomatoes keep growing. 
36. My wife can walk. 
37. Our walk today. 
38. Beautiful river valley. 
39. Yellow leaves. 
40. Beautiful parks. 
41. Adventures. 
42. Dotty 
43. Jonah
44. The colour purple. 
45. And blue
46. And rainbows. 
47. All the work I got done at work today. 
48. The colour of the sky at dusk. 
49. Milestones. 
50. Collaboration at work. 
51. My wife's help. 
52. The final product. 
53. Playfulness with coworkers. 
54. More work experience 
55. That I am slowly going to stop taking antidepressants. 
56. A plan for happiness. 
57. PCNs
58. Re-meeting S. 
59. hanging out with people after church
60. Swimming with J and his family.
61. Swimming with my sister and her family. 
62. Swimming with SJ. 
63. Swimming with K. 
64. Hot springs. 
65. Hot springs with A and A. 
66. BC
67. Mountains in BC 
68. Safe drives. 
69. Winter tires. 
70. That J put on my tires for me. 
71. The story of Stuff
72. Frost
73. Pd days
74. Learning ideas.
75. Teaching ideas. 
76. Playing charades in the hot springs. 
77. Friends who drive. 
78. Babies
79. Playing boggle with A and A
80. And pictionary
81. And catch phrase
82. A's grandpa's cabin. 
83. Her family. 
84. The beautiful place where the cabin is. 
85. I finished a painting. 
86. Afternoon heat. 
87. Tutoring job. 
88. Amazing neighbours. 
89. That share cookies. 
90. And garden goods. 
91. And conversations. 
92. Insights about life!
93. Thankful for sharing food with friends. 
94. Ideas for vegan potato patties. 
95. Lots of work last month. 
96. Less work this month. Maybe. 
97. Fall. 
98. Crunchy leaves. 
99. Sunshine. 
100. Baking buns.
101. Pasta
102. Quick meals
103. Vegan tacos 
104. Udon noodles. 
105. Wood burning stoves. 
106. Playing with fire. 
107. Sleeping next to my wife. 
108. Learning from my coworker M. 
109. The possibility of more hours next semester. 
110. Coworkers who choose to work less. 
111. Assessments 
112. Water
113. Fish pond at school
114. Time to relax
115. Yoga
116. Sleep
117. I am thankful for people who care about me. 
118. Friends who have fun
119. And those I can care about.