I have been thinking about posting for a while. I have been learning a lot recently, but I am not exactly sure how to put it into words.
1) I have been learning that Jesus is Lord. When I look around at the mess in this world it is hard to believe that God is in control. But Jesus is Lord! He knows what he is doing. I don’t get it.
2) God has wrath. That is not something I enjoy thinking about, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t true. God is love. And like a lover, when he sees those he loves getting hurt, he gets angry.
3) But, he also doesn’t want to be angry at anyone, but to have peace with everyone
4) I am afraid to offend others by my opinions. I am afraid that my opinion will be wrong or foolish or something. I was driving with my sister and brother-in-law for 7 hours through the prairies, so we had to do something to pass the time. We started talking about baby names (though my sister is far from pregnant) and every time I had a different opinion about a name than they did, I kept it to myself. I did not feel free to disagree. I did not want to offend them or hurt them in any way, or be wrong for liking a name that they did not.
5) I like food too much. That is not the problem. I think the problem is that I like to eat too much, but I forget to be thankful. Gluttony leads to ungratefulness. I am there, but I don’t want to be there, but I am not sure what to do about that.
6) I am proud, and when I decide (for whatever reason) that I think I am better than someone then I think I cannot learn from them. That is a lie.
7) Up to this point in my life, personal development has been forced upon me. It is time I take responsibility for myself. The things I have yet to learn are: WHO do I want to be in five years, and what and I going to do to get there?
8) “I am not the girl I used to be, I am not yet who I will become” Suzy Welsh
9) I am unhealthily independent. While I think that we are created for community, I do not live that out, nor know what it would look like if I did. I am afraid to ask people to help me because I reckon that they do not want to help me. Maybe they are busy, or they just don’t care. Whatever it is I feel the responsibility to do everything on my own. I am learning that sometimes people want to help me.
10) My independence and self-reliance probably is at the root of my doubts that God will help me if I ask him. My independence roots from my childhood, they ways my parents forced me to be independent and the times my sister responded to me as if she did not care.
11) God is good. He is good to me. He is at work in this world. I have seen this and I cannot deny it. He has healed my dad! But sometimes I still doubt. I still lack faith.
12) God will punish the self-satisfied... is that me?
13) I am going to be learning for the rest of my life! When I was in high school I thought I knew everything. Then I realised that I do not know everything. I started trying to answer my new found questions so that I could get back to the place of knowing everything. I thought I’d better figure it all out pretty quickly. BUT I don’t have to get it all figured out pretty quickly. I will always be learning! Hooray! I have lots to learn, and some things I will probably have to learn yet again. But I am on my way. I am learning, and I will continue to learn all the more!
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Ah Yeti! You sound so much like me when I was younger it almost makes me hurt. I could be wrong -- I am frequently -- but you don't sound self-satisfied to this soul. The funny thing about offending people is how often we do it without meaning to and how difficult it is to do when we actually make it our intention. Conclusion: let go of that worry. Trust in the goodness of your own heart. Opinions can't be 'wrong' per se. Facts can. People's knowledge and understanding of the Truth can be wrong, but your opinion is just opinion and subject to change over time and even depending on mood. Detachment is the key. I love your post! It is SO REAL! God bless you!
ReplyDeleteBooklady, thank you for your comment. I realised how afraid of offending people I was as I went to post this post and feared that it would offend someone who read it. Maybe I fear that if someone disagrees with what I say that they will hate me. that is probably not true. still learning. Still learning.
ReplyDeleteHi Yeti, Thanks for dropping in, good to be here too. very personal thoughts, yes, life on this earth is a changing process, we need to go thru different faces, and some good some bad, and we see people and systems changes, but one thing is for sure our God and His ways will not change, and you can fully trust in Him, No need do doubting this God, so go after Him fearlessly He will take you thru.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless
Phil
PS:
I have few suggestion here in connection with your blog, though its a good one, if you provide a little more bigger font, or change to some other font it looks little fine, and ha! pl. provide a follow button so that people who like your blog can follow your blog. And I think you need to change your template too.
Hope you don't mind on these suggestions. I am at Google's Knol pages pl do visit. best regards
phil
Phil, thank you. And yes, I will continue to Change, but God will not.
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for you suggestions. I certainly don't mind (though I mightnot follow them) At the top of blog pages there is a follow link. Perhaps I should have a more obvious one on the side as well? How do you think my template should be changed? I do like keeping it simple. I also view my blog in a smaller window, and I think it looks better smaller than bigger, but obviously I hav no say over the size of windows other people use. I could change my font. I am not exactly sure how I would do that, or if I would have to change it for each post. I probably don't have the time to do that.
Have a great day